Friendships change over time

A friend, a concept, a word, the timeless concept of social existence, there are ideal parameters of friendship, yet there is reality, the ultimate obliterator of our definitive paradise.

Friends come and go like trains at the station, some leave a lasting impression, some just fade away, some stay, yet they all matter.

In school, I often felt that I would never forget my friends, things would never change, life would evolve, not radically change its social structure as I traversed this difficult journey.

One of the only things connecting me to some friends of the past is a Facebook friend declaration, I meet some just because there exists some code of understanding that we must pretend we still have something to do with each other, I trust some with my life and live with the assurance that come what may, things will never change between us, there will forever be a level of comfort that can never rust with time.

I have realised that friendship has a shelf life, sometimes, when you no longer have a certain level of relevance with the other, a friendship gradually fades into the nothingness, or worse, into a social parody, where a compulsory exchange of pleasantries continuously takes place.

This is something that has often hurt me, the losing of a friend, something I have learnt to accept as a natural progression of the way society functions, whether I like it or not.

I knew people I thought I would be friends with forever, and then I moved to college, and forever was no more. I am glad for the few friends that linger on, truly, for they always bring a smile to my face.

I try to keep in touch with most, and more often than not, it becomes a difficult task. I would not mind if things remained the same when we have a reunion, but they do not.

Time has created a blanket of awkwardness and let loose the whips of formality, which make the whole reunion a painful sham and an excruciating rendezvous to endure.

I have instances where change has not ravaged those tender bonds of joy and memory, instances that give me hope.

I have learnt a lot in this regard over the last year, not all of it pleasing. After dwelling on this, I have realised and I hope that I have finally concluded, there will be some friends who tag along with time.

They will be those I most value, ones who matter to me the most, but I must not look upon those who have gone with disdain.

They will be but part of memories that were once happy, that do not deserve to be tainted, and for that they will have my respect and love, irrespective of the reverse reaction.

This social concept of friendship has given me insight, experience, doubt and ill feeling, but that pales in comparison to what it gives me most, joy, and maybe that is why I cherish it so much.

I will forever hope that change and time do not erode it, but if it does, I will not question it, merely accept it and smile at those precious moments that I will never let be tainted.

With that, I toast to all those who have been my friends, maybe for a few days, or for my entire life, for without you I would know no joy, I would be an empty shell of lonely existence, a conflicted soul incapable of rational thought, and for that I thank you.

Shail Sunil Vaidya is an independent writer based in India.