Focus: Overindulging children

Childhood — a time full of fun and games, chocolates and story books — seems to be changing. Today, children aren’t as interested in playing hide and seek outside with friends as they are in browsing on the tablet device in their hands. With gadgets, targeted marketing and brand awareness flooding the world around them, children are more aware of current trends and have access to more information than ever before. This seems to be posing a difficult challenge for most parents who may not be as technologically-savvy as their child. Apart from this technological gap, the popular style of parenting also seems to have become about fulfilling a child’s every demand to keep them happy. Are parents, knowingly or not, overindulging children? Join the debate by posting your thoughts on our Facebook page ‘Gulf News Al Nisr Publishing UAE’ or tell us at readers@gulfnews.com

14:09 Pavan Kumar: Children should have freedom, I agree, but they also need some security and little strict care from parents.

14:09 Lily Guna: At times, we entertain children’s demands and let them have what they ask for. I think to overcome the guilt of leaving them at home while they work for long hours, parents attend to the demands of their children and try to make them happy.

14:09 Ramachandran Nair: It is part of a changing scenario and one cannot blame children. They have been exposed to a world that is much more aggressive in all aspects, and children are especially attracted to the world of electronics that keeps changing every now and then.

14:13 Salim Mohammad: Earlier, children used to save whatever money they got and would plan to buy something big after it had become a huge amount. Now, they just demand what they want — they want more gain and less pain.

14:15 Saleh Al Beloushi: My nephew, who is just 10 years old, is asking his father for a laptop but his father gives him one reason or the other to divert his attention from the demand. However, when he goes back to school and returns home he again starts with the same cry for a laptop and simply says that all my friends have it, so I want it too.

14:19 Leah Thomas: I’m only 16 years old, but my first brand recognition was at age 12. Today, with children’s television programmes and commercials, children start asking for specific brands at around three years of age because they have seen the commercial. Also, computers have really influenced the way children play. While I played with blocks, dolls or toy cars, children today want to play with computers and video games.

14:20 Annu Pramod: If we sneak a peek into many homes, you would find the parents in front of their laptops or mobile phones and their children in front of another electronic device. There is no quality time with the family. Children know it is easy to get things out of their parents when they are stressed or really busy. Add peer pressure to it and you have a volatile situation!

14:20 Suman Shafi: Since children know more these days, they succeed in convincing their parents. They do manipulate their parents, because they know that their parents don’t have enough information to argue why not to buy something.

14:21 Ramachandran Nair: There has to be proper control and monitoring on the part of parents. Children try to compare their demands with others close by who may be rich enough to provide anything and everything to their child. I have personally seen small children using the most advanced mobile units with 3G internet and chat features. I doubt parents carry out any checks, but continue to recharge the phone credit to avoid service disruption. For a section of society, it is a matter of pride for their children to have expensive gadgets.

14:24 Ishfaq Mir: There are parents who think: “If we are capable of providing our children with everything, then why shouldn’t we?” Such an attitude has to be changed. It is this thinking along with the arrogance of children that spoils them the most.

14:24 Leah Thomas: Some parents want to be best friends with their children. They create a false sense of equality with their children when what they really need is a parent, and they yield to all their demands to keep a happy atmosphere at home.

14:25 Saleh Al Beloushi: Yes it will. Children will not realise the hard work and the stress of earning if their wishes and demands are easily and always fulfilled.

14:27 Annu Pramod: When children easily get what they demand, they think you get everything in life that easily. These devices not only make them sedentary, but also make them mentally unprepared for the “survival of the fittest” scenario out there in the world.

14:27 Pavan Kumar: Parents should share with their children and talk about the hard work they put in to fulfil their needs, otherwise children will assign no value to the money.

 
14:34 Lily Guna: Though we know the responsibility of parents, we don’t have enough patience to talk to them in the way they understand. When they scream, we yell.

14:38 Lily Guna: Yes. We were raised by strict parents and we even tell this to our children. But somehow we have lost track and are unable to set an example for our children.

14:38 Saleh Al Beloushi: Of course discipline is important for the upbringing of children. Home is the first school for every child.

14:38 Ramachandran Nair: I agree. It is up to the parent to draw a line and decide to what extent the child can be given a free hand in their life.

14:39 Gautham Manoj: I agree, but that doesn’t mean that discipline should not be a part of the upbringing of a child. Parents should know how to strike a balance between too much leniency and too much discipline.

14:43 Ishfaq Mir: Parents should know where to set the line. It is their decision that will have an impact on their child’s behaviour. They should first ask themselves and then the child whether the product/device is a ‘need’ or a ‘want’. They should analyse whether it is a necessity and then judge the value. They will then be able to make better decisions.

14:44 Salim Mohammad: Find time for your child. At breakfast try motivating them — give them good feedback rather than starting the day with instructions like “do this” or “do that”. They should be able to communicate well with everyone. Gradually, I am sure they will become independent and will be free to take their own decisions, with fewer interventions from the parents, which leads to a quality life.

14:44 Neha Dadlani: Yes, parents should set an example and be a role model. Children see and love to imitate their parents. Behave the way you want them to behave.

Yes, sometimes parents just give in to their children’s demands because they want to make up for other things. It is very unfortunate and I see that happening a lot. Children can always ask but it is up to the parents to explain why they can or cannot have something.

It could be true – life has changed. Parents hardly have time to spend with their children so maybe they are trying to indulge children to make up for it. But if you include religion, culture and values in your upbringing, your children will respect you and you can tell them why they can or cannot have something.

Saif Al Meskiri, Fire safety engineer living in Dubai

Overindulging definitely affects their skill development. If children never really have to want something it will be very tough when they grow up and meet people who didn’t get everything for free, who worked hard and who have a better understanding of what needs to be done in order to create possibilities and opportunities.

Ellen Kruijning, Veterinarian living in Dubai