Made in heaven, found on earth - marriages are a new beginning according to some and the final end for others. Whatever the point of view, marriage is one topic that is bound to trigger instant reactions and a long debate inevitable ensues. This is what Gulf News discovered, when this topic was opened for discussion. The response was overwhelming and the opinions varying. While many readers stressed on the importance of understanding and compromise, others found no reason for marriage without love. Have you been able to fathom the mystery of what makes a marriage successful?
Arranged marriages have a low level of success compared to love marriages.
In a love marriage, the partners may not be equally eager to marry. They may also differ on starting a family. If there are such differences the chances of a divorce increase. However, in an arranged marriage, the two do not know each other as well and therefore would have lower expectations. However, as a person already knows what the other is looking for there are more chances that people lie.
– Nikita Kashyap
Dubai
Both types of marriage have their own advantages and disadvantages. But the one common factor is physical attraction, which is the first step in any relationship. Compatibility and understanding are very important. However, when people are in love they try to impress one another, which could create problems after marriage.
– Ubair Mohammad Butt
Dubai
Love marriages are more successful because you give time to one another and share your thoughts to build a relationship. On the other hand, in an arranged marriage there is not enough time to build an understanding. The ability of a woman to compromise was the reason for arranged marriages working well in the past. Now women do not compromise and such marriages often lead to divorce.
– Tarun Agarwal
Sharjah
While my marriage was arranged, my wife and I decided to have a few meetings before giving our consent. We spoke to each other and discovered that we have a lot in common. Arranged marriages are more successful because your parents are with you at every step. This is why I believe that it is very important to have your parents' support, even in the case of a love marriage.
– Jahanzeb Aamir
Dubai
An arranged marriage is good as you can always hold your parents responsible if it goes wrong.
Just to hold someone else responsible for your failed marriage is never a solution to the problem. You end up blaming one another and are never able to resolve the problem. No parent would want his or her child to lead a painful life. Therefore, holding parents responsible for your failure in marriage is never a solution.
– Manoj Panicker
Dubai
Marriage is a legal commitment between two mature individuals. The responsibility that comes with it lies solely with the couple and no one else. To blame parents, fate or destiny are signs of immaturity. Whether love or arranged, marriages are good as long as there is a sincere commitment between the husband and wife. There is no short cut for happiness in a married life.
– Glen Vitus
Dubai
I have witnessed many cases where people blame their parents if an arranged marriage fails. While the parents find a good match for their child, often the person may be in love with someone else. In this case, a marriage is bound to fail because the person is looking for his/her love in the spouse their parents choose. In a love marriage, a person cannot blame his parents if things do not work out.
– Arif Zaman
Dubai
Holding parents responsible for whatever goes wrong will never solve marital discords. How can two individuals who have gone wrong blame another four who are not in the picture? Parents get their children married with the hope that they will live happily every after. When something goes wrong, it is nice to have our family with us to counsel or support us. However, it is still the couple's responsibility to solve their issues
– Bindu Sathianesan
Sharjah
A good marriage is not always about love, there is a lot of responsibility and understanding needed.
The key to a successful marriage is trust. I have come to this conclusion after seeing my parents and relatives. Whether it is a love or an arranged marriage would depend greatly on the community you come from. However, ultimately one is solely responsible for their lives. Be responsible and try to understand each other at all times. After all, you are the one who is starting a new family.
– Kavitha Prabhakaran
Dubai
A marriage is successful only if both the wife and husband are committed and put in a lot of effort to cooperate and understand one another. However, this is possible only if they are tied together with a more important bond of love. Love is the most important aspect before marriage but quite often is neglected after some time.
– Shubhada Karnamadakala
Dubai
It does not matter whether a marriage is love or arranged. What matters most is selfless commitment, respect and understanding. A couple can live together only if they know how to blend these three. Once they learn how to do this, they will automatically fall in love. Marriages also work if the couples consider one another as their best friend, not simply their husband or wife.
– Theriza Mangubat
Dubai
I have been married for eight years and mine was a perfect love marriage. Physical attraction does not necessarily mean love. Any relationship will survive the test of time only if both the people involved have a strong desire to be together. How the couple gets over silly differences and looks at the big picture decides the success of the relationship.
– Hamriya Abdul Rahman
Abu Dhabi
Love marriages fail because there are too many expectations.
Nowadays, people have too many expectations for one another. This is why we tend to complain whenever these expectations are not fulfilled. This happens particularly in love marriages where the couple plans too much and makes too many commitments for their married life. Before marriage, the couple only look at the pleasant parts of life. However, they forget that responsibility and tolerance in life are extremely important.
– Adnan Ahmad
Dubai
I believe in arranged marriages because the couple does not have many expectations. In our culture, people get married with the consent of their family elders. Because they have more experience with people, they can take better decisions. I know of cases where a love marriage has not been enough to make sure that the couples live happily. This is because they commit on everything and are unable to fulfil them.
– Munawar Aziz
Dubai
Firstly, a marriage should be an understanding between mature and responsible individuals. Any marriage would fail if a person has too many expectations and if their social background is completely different. In a love marriage, the partners make an effort to know each other and can adjust with one another. However, if they get married in haste, they would be unable to build such an understanding.
– Agniyah Shaikh
Dubai
It is difficult enough to sustain a marriage based on love. It would be even more challenging to sustain an arranged marriage, where there is no love to keep the couple going. Marriage is a sacred relationship and you will spend the rest of your life based on your decision. Therefore, you must marry a person you truly love.
– Nanette Bacugan
Dubai
