A few of my un-favourite things

Living and working in the UAE is great — sometimes too hot but apart from that it's fine. Returning from holidays is less so, but certain features of life here don't kick in till you leave the airport.

That's when I turn into the ‘invisible man' as people drag heavy suitcases over my feet, as if I didn't exist. Driving out of the airport brings on the second bane of my pleasant life — driving.

I get cut up in lanes, overtaken on roundabouts despite there only being grass to my left. Nobody gives an inch — I indicate I want to change lanes — the driver in that lane, a good 200 metres away, races up to get in before I do. I tell you, it's like flicking a switch in their heads — I indicate, they accelerate.

Conditioned

If, like me, you are genetically conditioned to queue, an orderly queue is a thing to behold — it's democracy personified — it's fair, it's easier, and it's right and proper. You get here last, you get served last, you come second, you get served second — at least that's the theory.

But, as we all know, theory and practice is not always the same. He who came last suddenly wants to go first — he who came first gets served second. The queue relies on two things: the tolerance and patience of those in the queue, and the acknowledgment that the queue exists by those serving. That doesn't always happen.

Why does that not surprise me? Because the very same principle is flouted every morning on my drive to work — there's a queue for the petrol pump, one for the roundabout, one for the next turning, and here comes the chap who doesn't think it applies to him.

Realisation

One question: How come the person who holds the door open for you in a mall, and absolutely refuses to enter before you, turns into a queue jumper once behind the steering wheel?

I think the answer lies in the age-old adage, "Do as you would be done by!" and illustrated by a few lines from Joseph Heller's excellent book, Catch-22!

Yossarian, the anti-hero says to his commanding officer, "From now on I'm only going to think of myself!"

The officer says, "Suppose everyone thought that way?"

Yossarian's reply, (and one I think that hits our nail on the head is), "Then I'd certainly be a fool to think any other way."
Bad driving is learned behaviour, so is impatience — we learn it from each other.

— The author is an educator and a Gulf News reader based in Al Ain.

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