More on the laws of attraction

I threatened last week that I was on a roll with my thoughts on the magic and mystery of friendship and I forewarned you that I was in no way finished with my wild musings on the subject.

So this week's article is the sequel. I hope that it's like Die Hard 2 which was as kickin' as the original, rather than Dumb and Dumber 2 which ended up as bad as a dog with fleas but in the end, I will let you armchair critics be the judge of that!
So in brief, a recap… I expanded on what I believe is the foundation of friendship... mutual interests, shared wavelength, and for me the most important aspect is the ability to express my sense of humour totally unedited so that I can be myself and represent to the fullest.

Now all these attributes totally fit for relationships with guys (hopefully you could recognise them as universal criteria for same-gender relationships) but obviously it all changes when we consider the elements that draw us into interactions with the opposite gender. So that's what I am going to trip into today.

As deep and intellectual as we all consider ourselves to be, there's no denying that we all respond initially to visual stimulation… and arguably men have a more fixed idea of what "attractiveness" is. I am in no way trying to put forward any excuses for this (on my behalf or for the greater cause!) but a contributing influence could be the images we are fed through the media of what "beautiful" is.

If you think about it, the spectrum of looks that we see on billboards, adverts, movies et al, is quite narrow compared to the myriad looks, styles and body types that exist in the real world. If you watch American Idol on MBC4 for example, you see lots of girls with real talent and cracking voices who seem to have everything but "marketable" physicality and you know they are destined to make it through some of the early rounds but the judges are just stringing us along before they drop them.

My female friends often berate me for my opinions on "beauty" and its importance, and try to argue the case for the value of a good personality. On the one hand I agree with this sentiment 100 per cent, but I always counter with the fact that if you are in a crowded club you cannot spot a good personality across the room … at that point the first impression is always going be based on the visual.

Thinking about it, I guess this is where the internet and social networking are a complete revolution because through this medium the identity can be kept secret and there is the opportunity to bypass the usual "first impression" and get to know someone on a different level. I know many of you are Facebooking constantly and maintain lots of exploratory relationships with, let's face it, strangers. I personally never got into all that as I prefer to keep it real, but I totally respect the fact that it works for many people.

Beyond first impression, other values are of course incredibly important for the longer term. The visual attraction needs to be there but for real meaningful relationships to develop and grow, all those other values need to be there. We need to have girls in our lives who are stimulating through intellect, personality, sense of humour or whatever else is important to us. I think Jennifer Aniston is worth considering at this point.

I figure she is a woman with seemingly everything – the looks, great hair, wealth – but she doesn't seem to be able to sustain a relationship, which makes me think she must somehow be a nightmare. Or is it that the façade is one thing, but underneath all the highlights and coy smiles, she is just incredibly
dull to be around? That's the conclusion I have arrived at, albeit based on virtually no knowledge!
Rather than giving you food for thought, I figure I have presented you with a veritable banquet of shady opinions to dine on, so I want to hear your thoughts.

Provocative-ly Yours