Tough love moulds young minds best

London: Children brought up by parents practising "tough love" are likely to become more rounded personalities with well-developed characters than those who face either a more authoritarian or laissez-faire approach, research reveals.

The study, by the think tank Demos, tracked the lives of 9,000 families and found that 13 per cent used a "tough love" approach, which combines warmth and discipline.

It did not matter whether the parents were rich or poor — those that adopted the approach brought up children who were more likely to be empathetic, more able to control their emotions and bounce back from disappointment, and more capable of sticking with things, concentrating and completing tasks.

The research found that it was the style of parenting, rather than income or social background, that developed the strength of character. However, it did show that the style was most common in better-off families and where parents were married.

"The ‘tough' bit of the equation is about children realising ‘we can't have exactly what we want immediately when we want it'," said Richard Reeves, director of Demos.

"And the recognition that there are other people in the world who you have to treat with a certain amount of respect. That is a crucial life skill, because no one wants to be married to or work with someone who is a selfish git."

The study concluded that 8 per cent of parents adopted a ‘laissez-faire' approach, 10 per cent or 740,000 were authoritarian, and another 8 per cent or 600,000 were ‘disengaged'.