Off the Cuff: Enjoy eating your own way — without inhibitions

I exclaimed “hurray” on reading a news item the other day which said that traditional table manners were dying the world over. I was elated not because I am opposed to table manners or for that matter any other kind of disciplined approach in life.

In fact, I have been a strong votary and practitioner of these. But I found that owing to constraints, thrown up by complexities of modern fast life, paucity of time and space, most people, including journalists, were not always able to go by the rule book in letter and spirit.

During my college days and in the earlier period of my career, I was very particular about wearing a well-tailored suit with matching tie, a slanted white hanky peeping out of the upper pocket of the coat and a small crimson flower stuck on the lapel.

I wore only Oxford shoes because their glistening toes easily caught the onlooker’s attention and enhanced my personality. I was often described as a well dressed person. That swelled my chest with pride.

The news item astounded me because it said the trend was evident in even Britain — mother (and father) of the age-old customs and practices that spread far and wide and were respected and observed.

Britons have always distinguished themselves for observing a strict dress sense, dress code, discipline in all walks of life and being very meticulous in many respects. Table manners, like other similar niceties and statements of etiquette, have been their hallmark.

But now, says the study report, Britons no longer eat together as a family. (Interestingly, this practice continues in many Indian homes). The survey found that people don’t hesitate to bring their mobile phones and even laptops or gaming consoles to the dining table.

There is more. Putting the knife and fork together when they have finished is no more considered necessary. The report pointed out that the same was true of the cardinal practice of keeping the mouth closed while eating, but it did not say if the surveyors heard any “chop, chop” sound.

I had been a stickler for rules, but like many others referred to in the report, I found myself wanting for reasons I talked about earlier. That gave me a sense of guilt. The news item brought me great relief and by reflex action I shouted “Hurray”.

It was a comforting thought that I was part of the majority.

During the 1960s, I went formally dressed to an official dinner hosted by the ambassador of a neighbouring country at a five star hotel. I was seated next to a bureaucrat. After the starters we found, much to our surprise, that the food served included, among other things, the Indian ‘poori’ (deep fried rounded bread) which could not have been eaten with knife and fork.

No questions could have been asked on such formal occasions. How it formed part of the menu remained a mystery. Nevertheless, the ‘poori’ posed a ticklish problem to even the predominantly Indian guests who were used to breaking and eating it with fingers.

I stealthily looked at the guests on my right and left and found them struggling to do it with cutlery. I felt like revolting. Table manners or no manners, I can’t do it the wrong way, I said to myself. I put the cutlery aside and started eating the Indian food the Indian way with fingers.

And lo, as if I had given the much needed cue, guests around me followed.

On another occasion, around the same period, I was accompanying the city mayor on an inspection of certain local projects. About a dozen officials were assisting him. When we were at the riverside, I could not resist the temptation of consuming a corn (called ‘bhutta’ locally) that was being roasted by a pavement vendor on burning coal. It is served after anointing it with lemon juice, salt and pepper.

I did not want to be an odd man out. I asked the mayor if he would give me company. Being a ‘bhutta’ connoisseur himself, he put aside the protocol and jumped at the idea. The next 30 minutes, the entire group of about 15-20 was munching the ‘bhuttas’, some announcing it with their ‘chomp, chomp’.

Since then I tell others: Eat as you please and enjoy it without any inhibitions.

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.