No kidding around

Parenting is an art and I am afraid there seems to be a genuine lack of artists within this group. Having observed their different styles, it is evident that nurturing and rearing children is more a matter of trial and error rather than an inborn talent.

Sometimes how you were brought up gets in the way of being good at this task. So, you have those who must have had a pretty awful childhood judging by the way they let their young ones run free and unsupervised. Children need the freedom to express themselves without fear of being put down or reprimanded, these advocates claim. So, their young ones are allowed to run riot, not just at home but anywhere they please. These are the ones you might meet in a public place whose outrageous behaviour has you making a promise to yourself not to be in any hurry to be a parent yourself.

As they run amok, the parents can be seen within viewing distance, looking on indulgently as if it were the most entertaining show. The only problem is that no one else, other than them, is appreciative of the loutish behaviour. The blood-curdling screams and rough-housing only serve to make them stand out as examples of what not to be.

Free rein

These are the ones whose philosophy in life is live-and-let-live. Basically, this lot let their kids do whatever they want so long as they don’t disturb the adults. So, if they are hyperactive and need an outlet for all that pent-up energy, the easiest solution is to say, “Go out and play.”

In other words, ‘Take all your noise and annoying and disruptive behaviour somewhere else”. This is interpreted by the children as free rein as well as reign over common areas such as corridors in residential buildings or parking lots.

So, the games begin and any neighbour looking for some peace and quiet had better look elsewhere. These unfortunate beings (the neighbours, not the children) behind closed doors are subjected to a series of repetitive shrieks and war whoops and the sound of footsteps thundering down the length of the corridor time and again.

For a variation in technique, the kids switch to bouncing balls off walls and each other, the latter often resulting in tit-for-tat actions.

By the time their energy levels begin to drop and they return to their respective homes, the site of the carnage is a sight to behold. Bicyles, tricycles, and toys are strewn like confetti on the floor and negotiating that stretch is akin to walking over a landmine-infested field.

Some parents do get it right the first time but these seem to be few and far between. As for the others, either they are determined to let history repeat itself by using the same techniques and psychology used on them when they were small or they take the diametrically opposite path — everything that was used on them is suspect and therefore to be discarded.

Child rearing is a touchy subject and should never be introduced without due thought into any conversation with a parent. Broaching this topic requires the utmost discretion and avoiding ‘blame’ words or phrases such as ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you’. These are bound to attract a vehement response and the risk of banishment from that particular household. This is where even angels fear to tread.

Every parent is convinced they are doing the best job possible and anything that smacks of criticism is deflected with words such as “What do you know? You’ve never been a parent”. My answer to this is, “True, but neither do I need to walk into a lion’s den to know it isn’t exactly a wise move”.