A different kettle of fish? Think again

While I can understand someone not wanting to eat insects, I take exception when people look down on cultures that do. Insects are probably the most responsible non-plant food source out there, and anyway, have you taken a hard look at seafood lately?

Shelled prawns could easily be giant maggots. Crabs look like spiders, crayfish like cockroaches and lobsters like scorpions (yes, I know that spiders and scorpions aren't insects, but let's not pick nits). And then you get to mussels, clams and oysters, that respectively, look like pupae, nasal denizens and something the consumptive brought up.

Making the choice

The Chinese supermarkets around us in Southern California have large live seafood sections. One of them sells even live frogs and turtles. Until recently I hadn't summoned the nerve to point to one of the fish tanks, as many customers do, and have the man pick up his net, and later, his mallet. Then I read about spot prawns and how they were a "West coast treasure" and was determined to not let the season go by without sampling some. I'd already seen them a few times, beautiful creatures that are a near fluorescent orange with white spots.

So we visited 99 Ranch, and for the first time I stood in front of a tank and did more than gawk - I pointed and held up one finger. The net came out and an expensive pound of spot prawns was loaded into a bag for me. Later, as we drove out of the parking lot, we could hear the plastic crackle now and then. My wife looked very distressed, and I must say, I was happy when she reached over and turned the radio up to a deafening volume.

The best recipe in the newspaper's food section talked about buying the little fellows live, trimming them and then marinating and grilling them, but no mention of first dispatching them to the great coral reef in the sky. Deciding that the old 'headfirst into boiling water' would have to do, I made a simple poaching liquid, asked for their forgiveness and sent them quietly one by one to a land where, I imagine, a prawn cocktail is only ever something a prawn drinks. (And where Drunken Shrimp have nothing but a slight headache in their destiny.)

Summing up the taste

For some reason, it irritates me when people describe seafood as "sweet", but these shrimp (yes, they're actually shrimp, not prawns) are really sweet. They have a meaty texture almost like lobster, and a clean flavour that doesn't need anything to accompany it. I thought I'd try just one while they were still warm, and ended up eating half the lot, standing there at the kitchen counter.

I repeated the experiment with those spirited cockroaches of the sea: crayfish. Spirited because they constantly fought with each other in the bowl, grabbing with their little claws and flicking their tails with astonishing violence. Once more, I asked for their forgiveness and before long their deep, near-black red had turned a stunning bright orange. They were good, but nowhere near as good as the spot prawns. I craved more spice and understood why crayfish boils are much loved when Cajun style.

It was when handling these creatures that it struck me: if any of them were land-dwelling, they'd be horrifying. I'd hate to see a land prawn scuttling through my house. Or have a group of lobsters burrowing in the garden. And yet, with the smallest mental shift, we're able to see them on our dining tables, and are ready to navigate feelers, segmented legs, claws and spikes for a bit of nourishment. Then for dessert we say, "Yuck, people eat insects? That's disgusting!"

While I can understand someone not wanting to eat insects, I take exception when people look down on cultures that do. Insects are probably the most responsible non-plant food source out there, and anyway, have you taken a hard look at seafood lately?