Let children Fink before they speak

It has been said that a family that dines together, stays together. But it's not just about the food. A meal with the family represents a healthy communicative relationship among the members.

One woman took this to a higher level. Lisa Warner inspired her four children to give voice to their thoughts by making cards with conversation starters on them, thus initiating them into the world of easy speech. Warner, on her website (www.finkcards.com), says: "As a child I was nervous and awkward, I hated socialising and was very shy. When I had children, I knew that more than anything, I wanted them to be confident and not afraid to talk to others."

What began as a way to keep kids happy through mealtimes developed into a learning tool. Warner believes communication is a great source of not just improving relationships but helping children stay out of trouble.

This further led the family to create Fink cards, a range of conversation-starting cards which made her a finalist in the Cartier's Women's Initiative Awards for 2009.

In an interview with Unwind, she explains how these came into being and why they are necessary.

How did the Fink-card idea come about?

Fink stands for Family Interaction Nurtures Kids and we make products that get families talking by asking questions. Our family edition has 54 conversation starters that ask questions such as ‘What is your earliest memory?' and ‘Who inspires you?'.

The initial idea came from my family, when my children were younger and mealtimes were chaos. So I made up some questions to get us talking rather than arguing — it worked and not only transformed our mealtimes but the way we talked as a family. My family grew close and my children all became confident communicators.

When I started Fink cards, I knew what I wanted to do. I did not attend business school and I didn't have money but I trusted my instinct and gave it a try. Many women entrepreneurs aren't confident enough. Learn from your mistakes and work hard to know your market. As for participating in the Cartier Women's Initiative Awards, I found out about the competition a few days before the deadline.

Do you think a mother-daughter relationship and a mother-son relationship are different? If yes, how do the cards portray that?

Mother-daughter and a mother-son relationships differ in as much as all relationships are unique as the individuals involved. I have three daughters and one son, each of them is different and my relationship with each reflects that. We designed questions keeping both boys and girls in mind.

How early in a child's life do you think parents can start using such cards?

They are perfect for children aged 4 and above. However, don't wait till then to get into the habit of talking to your children. Talking and listening helps them learn new words and gives them the confidence to try them out.

How can parents make use of such cards?

Mealtimes are an ideal opportunity for families to communicate — just pick a question from the pack and share their answer with everyone. It's important that everyone has an chance to speak and be heard. If the conversation starts to flow, stick to that. The idea is to develop meaningful conversations. If the conversation starts to falter, pick another card.

About the awards

The Cartier Women's Initiative Award is an international business plan competition created in 2006 by the high-end jewellery brand, the Women's Forum, McKinsey & Company and INSEAD business school. The purpose of this is to encourage women entrepreneurs through funding and coaching, to create role models and an international network of women entrepreneurs. Based on the quality of the plan and the persuasiveness of the verbal presentation, one laureate from five regions is selected and receives a support package: $20,000 (Dh73,460) of funding, one year of coaching, networking opportunities and media exposure.

The competition involves two rounds:

Round 1 (in June) — the jury selects 15 finalists, the top three projects of each region (Africa, Asia, Europe, Latin America and North America), on the basis of their business plans. They get coaching from businesspeople to move to the next round.

Round 2 (in October) — the finalists are invited to France for the final round, which includes submitting a detailed business plan and presenting their projects in front of the jury. They are also invited to the Annual Global Meeting of the Women's Forum.

The deadline for applications for 2010 is March 17 and the application criteria are:

II Who can apply? Women entrepreneurs of any nationality can apply by presenting a business project yet to be launched or a company less than three years old.

II What can you win? The prize includes coaching by Cartier, McKinsey & Company and INSEAD, a grant and an invitation to the Women's Forum Global Meeting in Deauville, France. It also gives access to business networks and brings added media visibility, key factors when launching a start-up.

II How to apply? Candidates must fill up the application form on www.cartierwomensinitiative.com. Forms sent by courier or e-mail are not accepted.