Learn how to project the real you

Most of us are not aware of our personal brand and may even think we do not have one. But the truth is that we do. And whether you are aware of it or not, you are selling your own special brand of you to your friends, colleagues and even total strangers every second of every day.

Not convinced? Imagine this. You are looking out of a window. On the other side of the street there are two coffee shops. One is a multinational chain whose brand name is synonymous with expensive takeaway coffees. The other is a privately-owned family-run coffee shop, which only sells Fairtrade organic coffee refills for the re-usable coffee cup you bring in yourself - save the planet and all that.

Two cars pull up. One is a beaten up old Jeep Wrangler covered in stickers, out of which steps a woman in flip flops with her hair in a messy pony, bikini strings visible above her vintage T-shirt, gripping a few Dh10 notes in one hand. The other car is a snazzy little sports car, which produces an impeccably turned out woman in a tailored suit and killer heels, talking on her Blackberry and clutching her Hermes Kelly bag in her free hand. Which one goes in to which coffee shop?

There is no right or wrong answer. These women don't exist, they can go wherever you want. But the point is that from a few small details about these women, you have already built an image of the type of person they are, their likes and dislikes, their ideals, their beliefs - you have recognised their brand.

Lesley Everett is a personal branding expert, an executive coach and conference speaker. Her company Walking Tall (www.walkingtall.org) offers personal branding workshops all over Europe and the US, as well as branding consultancy. She holds regular workshops in Dubai through local training company Right Selection (www.rightselection.com). According to Everett, your personal brand is how other people describe you. She says, "When people are talking about you, the image they portray is your personal brand. It is a set of powerful, clear ideas about you... everyone has a brand, but they aren't always in control of it." If Everett and the other personal branding protagonists are to be believed, your personal brand can open doors to careers, opportunities and relationships, and can just as quickly close them. In short, your brand is something you want to get a good hold on.

Know your brand

The first step is to become aware of your brand. Ask the people around you - friends, family, colleagues - for their thoughts on your brand with questions like, ‘What do you think I stand for?', ‘What would you say is important to me?' and, ‘What three adjectives would you use to describe me?' Brutal honesty is necessary for this to be useful. From this feedback, you can see how your brand stands at present. Is it congruent with the real you? Everett says, "Looking at other people's perceptions can show you the gaps in your brand. For example, someone might think they are not confident, but everyone else sees them as very confident. Or, you might come across as stressed out and unable to cope with situations, when actually you feel in control and professional."

It seems bizarre that if we are going about our daily lives, being ourselves, that our brand can be conflicting with the ‘real' us. Is it not, rather, that the brand is conflicting with how we like to see ourselves? Apparently not. According to Everett, your brand can become distorted by little signals you may not even be aware of - for example, your black nail polish.

"A large part of a person's brand is expressed through non-verbal communication. People build perceptions about us from the way we dress, the way we walk, body language... If you turn up to meet someone for the first time and they look like they've been doing the gardening, you'll be wondering how important the meeting is to them if they couldn't be bothered to change. Or if someone's outfit is very dated, you'll think, ‘Is this person stuck in the 1980s? Will they be able to deliver the most up-to-date modern version of what I need?'" These minute-by-minute assumptions, based on factors as simple as your hairstyle or whether you show your teeth when you smile, might be completely different from who you really are.

In this way, your brand can become blighted by an untruth - especially when meeting someone for the first time. Everett points to a study by the Professional Image Institute in the US, which found that it takes only seven seconds for our first impressions of someone to become cemented, but it takes 20 more encounters with that person to change these judgements. Note how we often refer back to our initial impression of a person with comments such as, "She was much more friendly than last week."

I decided to try the method out for myself and asked a few of my nearest and dearest for their perceptions of my brand. Try as I might, it was hard to ignore the running themes - chaotic (the kinder people saw this as energetic) and caring. Are these true to me? Without a doubt. Are they how I would define myself or choose to be defined? Probably not. "What about my open-mindedness, my resilience in the face of calamity (albeit usually self-created), my friendliness?" I shout at my emails. Changes they would like to see would be me spending more time on myself - "I do spend time on myself," I protest. "But with a fresh packet of biscuits and a new book, rather than a pair of hair straighteners and spa treatment." Hmm. I can see my personal brand needs some polishing.

Be real

The obvious stumbling block in the personal branding logic is this: if it is so easy to identify your brand and change it to how you would rather be seen, will it not lead to people running around pretending to be something they are not? Surely that is not healthy - not for them, not for the people meeting them and not for the people employing them. Dan Schawbel (danschawbel.com) is the Donald Trump of the personal branding world. He has his own personal branding blog, a personal branding magazine and 89,000 followers on Twitter. If you Google his name, you will get nearly a million results and The New York Times newspaper knighted him as a "personal branding guru". He says that although there is a risk that people will try to reinvent themselves as something they are not, it won't last the distance. He says, "Since we're all being judged on what's observable online, you can manipulate perception at first. The problem is that when people meet you, you will have to be transparent because there's no hiding. Eventually, your true brand will shine."

Everett agrees with this and says that the tendency to try and create a non-authentic persona is especially common in the workplace. She says, "I see people all the time, especially in corporate roles, trying to be someone they are not.They might be towing the corporate line when really they are more of a people person. In this situation, their skills, their passions and their needs are being compromised. They are trying to be the person they think senior management wants them to be."

According to Everett, the danger here is that a person might actually fall prey to their own branding hype and it can end up influencing their personality in and out of work. To prevent this, says Everett, you should only have one brand and it should be the same in all environments. She says, "If you are fun-loving out of work, be fun-loving at work, too. There's nothing wrong with being a fun-loving professional."

Back to the core

This ideal of a consistent personal brand running through all areas of your life is crucial for personal branding success. According to Everett, consistency leads to authenticity, and authenticity leads to trust. If people feel that your persona, and therefore ideals, standards and morals, are unwavering, they are more likely to trust you with their business, secrets, emotions, car and anything else they cherish. "In all areas of life, this will help you achieve your personal and career goals," says Everett. "Because of this, it is important to understand your personal brand, to know what you stand for, to know what drives you... It is an easier way to get what you want out of life." On this point, it seems all personal brand experts are unified. Schawbel says, "If you're authentic, people will gravitate towards you and your brand will grow among that audience. It is better to be real because replicas don't sell for as much. Figure out what your career aspirations are, what you're passionate about and what you're good at. The rest will work itself out."

Along the way, keep reverting back to your essential core values. Ask yourself, "Does what I am doing and saying reflect what I stand for?" Or, "This job opportunity is offering me more money than I earn at present, but will it require me to abandon my beliefs and ideals?" Or, "I like this dress, but is it in line with my true personality?" Keep testing your brand out by getting feedback from your friends and colleagues. Find out if your brand is obvious and stable - if it is, add to it; if it isn't, work on fine tuning it back to the core frequency. Everett says, "If your brand is genuine, it will attract opportunities to you. There are probably lots of people who you know, but you only have a vague idea about their job, passions or interests. If a job opening pops up that is perfect for them, you might not be able to connect the dots. Define yourself in a clear way and be consistent so that you can be recommended and visible when opportunities arise."

So, developing your personal brand is simple. Instead of holding up a mirror to get a perspective on yourself, take a look through other people's eyes and words. Is it the truth about you? Is that how you want to be known? Let's see - a chaotic and hectic person who can't find two minutes to brush her hair in the mornings? I think not. I'd better get branding.

Quick guide to developing your personal brand

1. Ask friends, family members and colleagues the following questions: What three adjectives would you use to describe me? What are my core values and beliefs? When you work with me, what do you get from me and what qualities do I bring tothe collaboration?

2. Ask yourself the same questions. Lesley Everett, personal branding expert, says you should ask yourself, "If my life was made into a biography, what would the title be, what would the different chapters be about and what would they be called?"

3. Sign up for Everett's 8.45 Club - three times a week for four weeks you get a short seven-minute personal brand coaching video emailed to you at 8.45am. For details, visit, www.walkingtall.org.

4. Global authority on personal branding Dan Schawbel, says, "Purchase your fullname as a domain name, join Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, and start a blog around your expertise."

5. Keep in mind Everett's seven major principles for personal branding success: be authentic; first impressions are built in seven seconds; choose clothes that express your brand; watch silent clues from your body language; voice quality is important; be interested in others; and be consistent.