Embrace change

As soon as we are able to comprehend the world around us, we are fed ideals of supposed success - get a job, get married, have a nice home, buy a nice car, have children, take holidays.

By the time we are off the leash into adulthood, most of us hit the ground running like an Olympic sprinter, with our head down focusing on the ground two metres ahead of our feet... arms and legs pumping.

Stop. Look around at your life. Are you content with what you see? Chances are you are happy with some things, not so happy with others. It is also likely that you're not where you envisaged you'd be at this point in your life. Or if you are, then maybe you are now wishing you were somewhere else.

Whatever changes you want to inject into your life, the only thing standing in your way is fear of the unknown and resistance to rocking the proverbial boat. Shake off that comforting, dream-crushing blanket of stability, banish your fears and insecurities, and brace yourself - the time has come to put your words and thoughts into actions and make real, positive changes in your life.

 The ten steps of change

Debbie Nicol is a principal consultant at Business in Motion, a Dubai-based consultancy, which helps businesses move closer to their goals by making successful, well-handled changes. She believes that when it comes to facilitating transitions, the same rules can be applied to the hard world of corporate business and to the more sensitive area of individuals. If your life is ready for a little shaking up but you can't bring yourself to take the plunge, ease into it gently with Nicol's change manifesto.

 1. Fix a final destination

"The key to making the right changes, for your business or in your personal life, is knowing what you want to do, or who you want to be. Once you decide this, you can start thinking differently and take the right steps to get to the new destination," says Nicol.

Action: Forget the sprinter and make like a marathon runner instead - head up, eyes focused on where you want to be and what you want to achieve in life. It may be a slower, longer path, but better to be jogging in the right direction than running full speed the wrong way.

 2. Face it head on

"We can't escape change in our everyday lives, so seek it out and experiment with it - find the need for change, and explore the risk of not changing. Step out of your comfort zone and welcome the experience... explore it, feel the emotion it evokes, try it, and try it again. Who knows what you'll discover, not only about the activities, but also about you, your reactions, and your awareness of change. Try to find at least one positive within the perceived negatives," advises Nicol.

Action: Drive a different route to work. Ditch your five-star luxury hotel mini-break for a weekend camping. Use a pen rather than a keyboard. Order a veggie burger rather than a juicy, meaty Big Mac. Go for an action movie over a chick-flick.

 3. Develop an appetite for change

"Assess how hungry you are to make the change by initiating the ‘heat test'? What are you prepared to do to fully support the change, and what lengths will you go to, to ensure that it happens? Test your commitment to the movement," says Nicol.

Action: Want to get fit? Start morning walks at 5am. Fancy a new career? Sign up for a part-time course that you have to somehow fit in to your already hectic life. Want to feel happier? Make a list of all the people who bring negativity to your life and distance yourself from them, whoever they may be. Want more meaningful relationships? Have a drastic cull of Facebook ‘friends' so you can focus on the people you really care about.

4. Remember, sharing is learning

"We're living in the knowledge age, where collaboration and sharing is all around us. Surround yourself with new resources, and like-minded people. Borrow chapters, or lessons, from other people's stories," says Nicol.

Action: Seek out someone who has made the change you want to make - whether it is taking the plunge on a new business venture, giving up work to be a full-time mother, ending a relationship, or giving up smoking - and ask them about the opportunities, benefits, and disadvantages associated with that particular change.

 5. Try freefalling

"Change takes us from here to there, from known to unknown - it is natural to resist this experience," warns Nicol. "Learn how to let go by releasing a small thing in your life and observing your reaction. What worked and what didn't? Why is it that we prefer the ‘known'? What is stopping us from catapulting ourselves over the canyon of fear?"

Action: Next time you order a pizza delivery, ask the guy on the phone to send you his favourite pizza and see what turns up. Quit your ritualistic Thursday post-work drink for a gym workout. Next time you're ill, ditch your GP visit for a pranic healing session. Go on holiday by yourself.

6. Build a crystal ball

"Focus on what it'll feel like, look like, be like when you reach your final destination. Plaster your goals on to a vision board, which will help you see yourself in your changed environment in your mind's eye. If we see barriers, there will continue to be barriers. Energy flows where thought flows," explains Nicol.

Action: Get a large piece of cardboard or a pinboard and decorate it with images which represent your goals and the person you will be when you achieve them - such as a teacher in front of a classroom of children, or a happy, free-spirited woman walking on a beach with her family. Also pin up pictures of the types of clothes you will be wearing then, the type of house you will be living in, and other lifestyle factors. You can write inspiring or motivating words and phrases on your vision board too. Make sure it is as colourful and visual as possible and put it up in a place where you will see it everyday. Your vision board should make you smile whenever you look at it and evoke feelings of positivity and achievement.

7. React smart

"When faced with a change, keep an eye on your attitude. Consider the choices you have carefully as the impact of the change on you is directly related to how you react to the change. Are you going to display a victim's or a victor's response? And remember, Rome wasn't built in a day - if big changes seem to happen overnight, perhaps they shouldn't be happening at all," says Nicol.

Action: If you've been made redundant, perhaps now is the right time to start up that pancake delivery service you've always dreamed of running. If your partner leaves you, relish the freedom - you can finally paint your bedroom walls silver and listen to Shakira 24/7. If your boyfriend's best mate moves onto your sofa for a month, it's the perfect opportunity for you to sign up for that intensive photography course.

 8. Tune in to the voices in your head

"Listen to your intuition. Facing changecan be daunting and unsettling, or exciting and exhilarating. Trust yourself to listen to the inner feelings and messages from your gut instinct," advises Nicol.

Action: Try to picture yourself in your changed situation, in your new job or living in the new house. How does the image make you feel? If you see yourself being unhappy in your new job at the office with the strange atmosphere, perhaps you should keep looking until you find something better suited to you.

9. Get your just deserves

"Reward yourself for any change you explore and move through. You have transitioned, grown and re-energised, which isn't easy," says Nicol. Let yourself and others know how proud you are!"

Action: When I can run around SafaPark without stopping, I'll buy myself that yellow sundress. When I start my new job,I am treating myself to a day at the spa.When I boost my self-esteem and start feeling good about myself again, I am going to Lebanon for a weekend with my friendto celebrate.

 10. Keep on changing

"Don't think your transitional phase is over. Once you've triumphed with one shift, another will come along. It's the very essence of human growth and development. Be ready to peel the next layer off the onion - one layer will never be enough," says Nicol.

Action: Physical change, such as getting fit, losing weight, eating more healthily or giving up bad habits, can often lead to emotional changes. Similarly, emotional changes can lead to spiritual changes. Let the natural evolution of yourself occur, and deal with each layer of change one step at a time.