Opinion | Speak Your Mind

Focus: Disciplining children

We have opened a page for robust debate among you. This page does not have a political stand and should be read in that spirit. We do not seek either to offend or to appease. We strive to present all points of view but expressed in a civil manner. Speak up and be heard on the following:

  • Gulf News
  • Published: 17:35 February 16, 2012

  • Image Credit: Gulf News

 

  • An easy existence has made children ungrateful of their parents’ efforts.
  • Most parents are too concerned about being politically correct to put their foot down.
  • Too many gadgets in a child’s life automatically influence their ability to focus and maintain discipline.
  • The openness of the platforms provided by social media is encouraging bad behaviour among children.

Comments (7)

Share your views

  1. Added 22:19 March 2, 2012

    parents shout .... but its for our own good i am a child of grade 6 but still i support that parents have the right to do anything to us to make us good in the future life

    Bindya, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

  2. Added 16:00 February 22, 2012

    It requires a lot of courage and determination for a parent to mould their children in this Rat race world . While i was out roaming around the streets of karama one fine evening i came across a little boy who was crying out loud. While i was standing and just wondering what happened the mother was trying to calm him down but he would still not settle down instead when the father arrived he spanked him on hands and legs so hard that the boys cry was even louder. I still could not figure out why the boy was crying? Perhaps he wanted to go some where or he saw some thing interesting that he really wanted. Back In US, Parents wouldn’t dare hit their children and incase they do the children have the right to call 911 who would put the parents behind bars. I see the way some parents really yell and beat their children. Yes, they need to be spanked, taught a lesson, punished and corrected on the spot so that they would think twice before they commit the same mistake again. Like wise even in school -teachers are our gurus, and they have the right to correct the students and advice them when they do some thing wrong. It does not mean that they need to go beyond the limit and cross the lines that might hamper the childrens future. In Dubai, we have heard of many cases where teachers used to hit students that cause permanent disability in some parts of the body. children who are spanked even occasionally are more likely to experience depression or low self-esteem compared to children who are not spanked. At the same time, Parents should not just spoon feed and pamper their children buying whatever they ask . Later on they would have the mentality that their parents would listen to any thing and finally they would reach a situation where the children would sit on top of the parents ruling them. Due to our busy schedule parents these days do not have time to sit and have a one-to-one conversation with their children. Children go in some other direction keeping them selves so engrossed with their latest gadgets while the parents are in some other direction. In this way the children might loose intrest and might involve in various activities as they might feel that they are not getting the moral support from their parents. Children are spoiled in this world with millions of friends who they make at school/ college and they may take some bad traits from them. Put another way, getting spanked does not help children identify inappropriate behavior, nor does it teach them what they can do differently in similar circumstances in the future. There are parents who need to be taught how to behave by their grand parents and then the children. When parents behave so arrogantly with others what example are you creating for your children? Your children would gradually pick up the same habit and behave the same manner to others. this is how we have children who mis behave in society. I am sure many children these days are young enough quite energetic who knows the pros and cons , whats right and wrong. But it is the responsibility of the parent to advice, and correct them when they do some thing wrong rather than banging their heads on the wall or taking frying pan and hitting them,. if parents cant its a SHAME on their part to be called as "PARENTS". Assigning a time out is effective for younger children, while taking away privileges like television and toys tends to be effective for older children. Once children are old enough to understand and communicate with their parents, the key is to provide clear choices when they are behaving inappropriately, and then to make it clear that any discipline that arises is due to them making the wrong choice. If parents are not going to spank their children when their children are big and strong enough to physically overpower their parents, it seems to me that choosing to spank them when they are small is somewhat thoughtless, and perhaps even cowardly. I believe that every human being can be thoughtless and cowardly at times, so I am not condemning people who spank their children I am condemning the act of hitting another human being. If parents choose to spank their children, I can only hope that they do so with broken hearts rather than out of anger. To discipline out of anger makes the discipline more about the parent's lack of emotional control rather than about teaching their children how to mature into well functioning adults. Do love your children , spank them when your supposed to spank them, Do correct them and monitor their movements. At the same time give them the freedom to do what they want. I am sure your children will start respecting you. If parents love their children do spank them because you love them and not because you want to vend your anger and frustration that most of us have.

    Mathew Litty, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

  3. Added 12:20 February 22, 2012

    In today’s world I believe control and restriction is beyond the limits of parents. Starting from school they have got into a more gadget oriented methods of learning unlike before where we were into books. Libraries and books are no more a hobby but just a period in their time table. My Dad always used the method of ‘say and leave’. He never imposed anything. But that always made me think what he said the next time. No stick rule was used. But over the years any child for that matter would realize what their parents have said or tired to teach them. Its the parents' duty to tell their kids to put the right foot out and follow the right track though it may seem the toughest. I have seen parents who never say anything to their kid but follow’ the do as you like’ policy. I would only call it ignorance as to the outside world the child becomes egoistic and not-flexible. The effects the personality of the child. Even nature has a rule so why can’t we have one to discipline our lives?

    kavitha Prabhakaran, DubaI, United Arab Emirates

  4. Added 18:51 February 21, 2012

    Parent’s role is very vital in building the character of a child. Children always look forward to their parents for everything and will be a role model for most of them. So parents should try to live up to their expectations. But here what happens is, parents keep very high expectation on their children and will not give them a choice to decide their future. This kind of interference always leads to a disaster in most of the cases. When the children are young, parents should help them to cultivate the habit of studying. Once they are in the groove and start to excel in the class, they will never look back. Parents should just monitor them and help them whenever it is necessary. It has been noticed that most of the parents are very adamant and are not ready to change their opinion even if it is wrong. Many parents fail to understand the interest or likings of their children. This will only help to de-motivate the child. So create a congenial atmosphere at home where children are free to discuss their problems and doubts. This is an era of gadgets and everyone irrespective of whether big or small are busy learning the latest technology. Children should be aware of the new technology but some kind of restriction has to be in place in terms of their usage. They can be easily exposed to lot of social media`s without their knowledge. This is where parents should interfere and make them understand the need of time management. When the child gets hooked on to these diversions then they will surely deviate from the main focus. Always encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities or let them get into the habit of reading; this will surely help them to get away from many of the time wasting activities. It is the duty of each parent to give them a healthy environment to grow, study and play in order to become a good citizen.

    Shivshankar K.T., Dubai, United Arab Emirates

  5. Added 12:12 February 21, 2012

    Our parents aren’t traditionally good at multitasking with gadgets because they didn’t practice it as much as the younger generation does. The next generation is going to be doing so many things at once it will probably make our heads hurt. Just a sign of how society is keeping up with increases in technology. I certainly agree that multitasking and technology are related, but I think this is simply because technology makes multitasking possible. However, when multi-tasking on gadgets are made increasingly habitual - Childrens senses and emotions are heightened, and they maintain an “I want it now” mentality. Any sense of patience and grace that a child possesses is wiped away when the world doesn’t operate at a quick enough pace for the child. Technology has provided us with such a quick, fast-paced, convenient lifestyle that both ourselves and our children will struggle to maintain normal social behaviors. The effect of this continued use of and interaction with these technologies actually carried over to the people’s interactions with other humans. So, we would begin to automatically attribute characteristics as those that human should embody, without realizing those characteristics are specific to computers. We show severe impatience and frustration towards the error, slowness, and inefficiency of other human workers because they expected them to operate like computers.

    ROMI SEBASTIAN, DOHA, Qatar

  6. Added 12:19 February 19, 2012

    Well parents if start using positive enforcemnet for letting their children do what is good for them will bring out positve result but if they end up in some kind of punishment it will end up in giving a negative result. Parents are experienced ... they should be well aware about children their behaviours and they are the one who can bring out a positive or negative change in children

    nazneen mohd sabir, Al-Ain, United Arab Emirates

  7. Added 07:53 February 18, 2012

    One thing's true that most of the parents have a tight schedule with their job and daily routine,a relaxed and healthy time to spare with their child/children will be very limited and scarce. When children are left in a self-reliant mode from a very immature time onwards, they acquire and expose what they're not supposed to.First of all, father and mother should be in a give and take and harmonious state before the children so that they can lead and take the children in a normal or proper path. Parents should always have a vigilant inner eye towards their children,and a friendly approach to them.Children are not a refuse bin to dump all the tension upon them nor a golden egg to kept in an utopian room. Parenting is really a serious job.Sometimes,father and mother together sharing their resposibilities won't put the child too much on the leisure gadgets.

    Annie R Samuel, Tiruvalla, India

More from Opinions

Popular in Opinion

More from Opinion

Speak Your Mind

Do people make sacrifices just to make money?

Your turn
Community Reports

More from Community Reports