Reacquainting a granddaughter with a grandmother

Dear Sarah, I am going to tell you about a woman whom you knew very briefly and from whom you could have learned a lot. You won’t remember her as she passed away before you could appreciate her kindness and thoughtful ways.

When you look admiringly at your papa whom you love very much, you are also looking at her through the eyes of love. Your dad and she were like peas in a pod although they weren’t twins but mother and son. Their reactions to people and their way of showing they care are carved out of genetic characteristics they shared.

Your grandmother was a middle child, just like your father. Like him, she, too, felt she was often overlooked while the younger and older siblings grabbed the limelight. They coped with this in different ways. She resorted to being the funny one, always trying to bring a smile to others’ faces. Whether it was a corny joke or her slapstick sense of humour, she was able to amuse everyone. Some of her gems or witticisms are recalled every now and then, making the recaller feel the laughter bubbling from deep within.

She was extremely loyal and fierce in her defence of those she loved. It was difficult living in a family of siblings who were Elvis Presley fans while she placed her vote on Cliff Richard. In fact, for her special birthday, just before she passed away, her children bought her a ticket to a Cliff Richard concert in London last September and she was excited about getting to see him in the flesh. But it was not to be. She took all the teasing in her stride. A weaker person would have switched allegiance but she wasn’t one to desert anyone simply because she couldn’t stand the heat.

Her generosity of spirit often made her take on more than she could shoulder. To her nieces and nephews, she was the one they could always count on to welcome them with a smile. Her home was open to them whenever they needed a place to stay and there were no questions asked and no judgements made.

Her eyes lit up whenever anyone showed their appreciation, which was what she was forever seeking. The artist in her created many works of art, including the many stuffed toys that she made once she knew you were on the way. There are many houses which proudly display her craftsmanship.

Among her friends in Spain, where she lived for so many years and where you stay, she was known to always lend a helping hand. She was a sucker for sob stories and would go out of her way to ease others’ pain even if sometimes she was taken for granted or even for a ride.

She was a keen gardener and the greenery you walk through when you visit the house is testament to this. It is one of her many legacies. This is where she sought refuge from pain and disappointment. She would often steal out of the house at night at the height of a drought-stricken summer to water her beloved plants although she knew it was forbidden.

She was, above all, a one-man woman and the love of her life was her husband, your grandfather, who passed away too soon. When she died, everyone said or thought the same thing — ‘She’s with Ron at last’. Because that’s where she always wanted to be.

Of course she had her faults such as being a hoarder and loving her sleep. But there are worse vices.

You will see pictures of her through the years and you might not realise what you’ve missed by not knowing her. But you will always be surrounded by reminders and adults who knew and loved her. I hope and pray she has passed on some of her amazing qualities to you and that she lives on from generation to generation.