Thoughts are tickling me as they so often do. People have given me all kinds of advice on why I shouldn't think so much but that only gets me in deeper. Why shouldn't I think? Ironic, yes, even funny, but yeah here we go again.
Played my first match in the Nirma Cup (minor football tournament in India) the other day, I don't know what was expected from me but I knew that I couldn't make that dreaded mistake - it's a goalkeeper's fear.
We step onto a field, across a line, knowing that it is perfectly normal to let your focus wander when you are all alone in a section of the field. That it is only human to make mistakes but also knowing that once we don our gloves we are human no more.
We get marked for our mistakes and forgotten for words of appreciation for playing where the pressure is undoubtedly the most, even though some may feel the need to disagree.
It didn't help that it rained that day and abandoning the match due to a water logged pitch was obviously not an option in my college.
At one end of the pitch I stood in collapsible and flimsy mud. The other end was in ankle-deep water. Having lived in sunny Muscat, I had no experience whatsoever in wet conditions.
Don't you think the conditions were perfect to display my array of skills as a goalkeeper, for those of you who missed the sarcasm, it was not.
We scored a goal and we also conceded one. And, after conceding the goal I learned that I can't move as fast in moist soil conditions, therefore I am not sufficiently quick enough to get off my line.
Soon we conceded another goal, where in mid-jump, as I saw the ball soar past, I discovered I can't even jump as high in thick mud.
As it was I learned from these experiences and made a string of saves, even one slightly acrobatic, which felt quite good when I beat it above the post but not so good when my back was splattered with mud.
Thus we were still in the game come half time. I knew it was coming. I knew I had to stand there but I couldn't ever have prepared myself for standing in ankle deep water and goal-keeping.
I know I shouldn't complain, as the other keeper also stood there. I just hadn't ever experienced anything like this. I found a dry place just inside the goal line. I decided to stand there and move into my zone as and when needed.
That moment came - the one on one - I dived into the puddle... soaking wet, with seven layers of muck on me, yes but with the satisfaction of having the ball in my hands.
Delight was flowing through my veins, so I repeated the save three or four more times and kept my newly acquired reputation in school intact. Oh did I say school, I meant college, I wish I could have said school though.
Shail Sunil Vaidya is an independent writer based in India.
