Opinion | Columnists
Child is the father of man
Special child. That is a two-word expression currently in vogue in civilised society to describe kids having some kind of physical (including neurological) deprivation.
- Gulf News
- Published: 23:28 October 13, 2008
Special child. That is a two-word expression currently in vogue in civilised society to describe kids having some kind of physical (including neurological) deprivation. Admittedly, it is a very well thought out and sensible way of referring to such children.
This pair of words adequately takes care of the sensitivities of a child who, in most cases, thinks normally like you and me, but finds himself unable to say that he/she is absolutely normal and does not like to be "branded" in any manner.
Sometimes, his facial expressions amply indicate to any onlooker that he resents inviting any stare, glare or special attention. But he or she just can't say it. Silent anger keeps seething in him and it has no synch with his physiology.
Perhaps, if we could record his thoughts, we would find him yelling out at the person curiously looking at him, "Hey, it's you, not me. The problem is with you, not with me. I am normal. Do you understand?"
But much to his chagrin, he can't convey his feelings because of the factor or factors that make us describe him as a "special child".
Well, that was my thought about "God's children" who are as self-respecting as anybody else and don't need pity but encouragement. I hope your readers, wherever they are, would do this small favour to these youngsters.
I would now take you to a child, my nephew T, who was a "special child" of another kind. Stubbornness that borders on impertinence is a trait commonly found in a good number of children, but my nephew T had taken it a bit further.
He was hardly two-year old when it became clear that he loved defiance. The tendency grew with his growing age. He made it known that he would not take things lying down, except when it came to having his meal.
On seeing his mother bringing food for him, he would sprawl on the floor like a swimmer in the pool - in breast stroke mode - to resist forced feeding. No amount of coaxing and cajoling would make him sit in the dining chair or even on the floor. He would have his food, even water, "lying down".
T wouldn't heed repeated entreaties to be respectful to guests and was a cause of embarrassment for the whole family. He would stare down guests as if asking, "Why have you come here?"
The boy grew up further, so did his waywardness. His class teacher frequently complained that T would never do what he was told to do.
One evening, while going for a wedding, the boy would not wear the clothes given to him by his mother. He was scolded and pushed into the changing room. He came out complaining that his clothes had been ripped by a hook but a pair of scissors found in the room busted his claim and earned him a severe beating.
We thought of consulting a child psychologist but then gave up the idea lest it sent wrong signals to people around us.
The boy continued with his defiant attitude. Attempts to teach him toilet manners went in vain. One morning, I put him on the toilet seat but he shouted at me and tried to run away but I pushed him back. Exasperated, he looked at me and said coldly, "I will not do what you want me to do." I could only look around at other in the family.
Today, T has a son and an infant daughter. Recently, when he came to visit us, I asked him about his family. "Everything is fine uncle," he said, "except that Manu [his son] is causing a lot of problems.
You cannot imagine how aggressive and defiant he is. Ask him to go north and he would head south". I couldn't help smiling.
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