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My husband does not trust me even after eight years of marriage

  • Posted by Moderator: Biju Mathew, News Editor
  • Published 10:24 May 30, 2012

A reader asks: I have gone through tremendous amount of pressure because of my husband.

We are married for the last eight years. We are a perfect family, but the problem is that my husband does not trust me even after a long time being together.

I am well educated and have a good job. He also has a good job and he is highly energetic and protective of his family.

He loves me too much and cares for. But he is jealous and possessive. He does not like me speaking to my friends and does not want me to speak to some of my male colleagues.

He sometime gets drunk and verbally abuses me by linking me with my male colleagues.

I don't know why he doesn't trust me. I work and I can't confine myself to just the household chores.

We fight at times and I try to keep our children from not knowing what's happening. But my son has seen the arguments and fights and keeps crying. I don't know what to do.

Dr Raad Alkhaiat (Consultant Psychiatrist): It looks that the main problem in your marital relationship is jealousy and the feeling of your husband towards you and reacting to that by watching and preventing you from contacting your opposite sex.

This has put a lot of pressure on you, which leads to have fights and aggression. This is affecting your son emotionally in bad way as well.

It is not clear from your letter whether this 'jealous attitude' of your husband is part of his personality and nature or is it related to any psychological disturbance, which might need psychiatric assessment and intervention. You mentioned that he gets drunk, which increases the possibility of having some mental problem (the link between alcohol intake and jealousy is a known factor).

So, mental assessment of your husband is important for treatment and to help both of you in your marital relationship.

Write with your concerns to inmind@gulfnews.com and selected questions will be answered by a panel of qualified psychiatrists and psychologists. Your contributions will be modified for length and appropriateness, and will be open to other Gulf News readers to comment and suggest solutions. Let us know if you would like GulfNews.com to withhold your name from your letter should it be published.

Disclaimer: This blog is a conversation and is not an alternative for treatment. The recommendations and suggestions offered by our panel of psychiatrists are their own and Gulf News will not take any responsibility for the advice they provide.

Comments (2)

  1. Added 11:09 June 2, 2012

    Please consult a psychiatrist for your husband urgently! If you let it prolong too much, you may also end up with serious psychological problems and depression

    HW, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

  2. Added 17:32 May 31, 2012

    Hello dear..trust is foremost thing in any relation...its strange 2 know dat aftr 8years of marriage ur husband doesnt trust u. I faced this same issues during early stages of marriage(when i stay in India & my husband ws here),but when i shifted 2 UAE & we startd stayng 2gethr things got bettr.Now v lead a normal life. Talk & sort out things.Am sure something mite hav got in2 his head,due 2 wich he mite be so suspicious. nevr let ur kid get affected wit the fights u hav...Hope ur able 2 overcome everythng & b happy wit ur family.

    VJ, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

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