Opinions | Bloggers
Stressed out, depressed, the world getting on top of you ... join the Gulf News online conversation and our panel of experts will guide you to find a potential solution to your worries.
Write with your concerns to: firstname.lastname@example.org and selected questions will be answered by a panel of qualified psychiatrists and psychologists. Your contributions will be modified for length and appropriateness, and will be open to other Gulf News readers to comment and suggest solutions.
Let us know if you would like GulfNews.com to withhold your name from your letter should it be published.
Click here to know more about our panel of experts
'I love him and can't live without him, I want to die'
- Posted by Moderator: Biju Mathew
- Published 9:38 January 15, 2013
Hi , There many People Will say You many things , Just get married in the Court , or As You said the Guy is not ready to marry until your parents agree , Then I guess he himself doesnot want to marry you he is just delaying and marrying another girl happily with his parents consent , listen Girl 'WAKE UP' , dont die for the one who cannot die for You , If he wants to marry You he will do anything for You , take you to the Court and make a case against your Wali and then there will be a wali on behalf of you in the court , What kind of Muslims are they ? If they knew Islam Well , They Would have happily made their daughter wed the Guy who asked foro her proposal, ?? Labbelled Muslims , !! Listen Girl In ur case , if he goes to that extent then he loves you 100% , but if he is escaping then you are wasting your time and by the time Your fiancee Will be the best buddy and you would wonder no matter what happened with you he was the one who loved you and cherished You , so I wish You the best run to your country and ask the guy also to come there thats the easiest way to get married !! If he is in your LUCK you will get him , make sure he is financially capable of making all the important decisions of your life , wish U good luck and remember Life is not so cheap there are many fishes in the Ocean ! The Ocean is Vast , !! Live Your life and even your life is Allah's ..so have faith in Allah and Allah is All Seeing and All Knowing !
Kaneez Fatima, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
We all have problems- may Allah ease it on us. Only you can help yourself. Is this seriously a headline?
felicity, dubai, United Arab Emirates
Your story is sad. But there is always a way out of your situation. You have to have strength and not give up. See all the people who have advices for you. Some of us have been through same thing. Try to listen and get help soon.
Alia, Sharjah, United Arab Emirates
so sad to read ur story,May GOD hepl u ,i also want to write about my story and want some help from all of u guys...can anyone tell me how to write my story here...?
crystal, dubai, United Arab Emirates
My Dear, First of all I dont believe what you said. You said I can not contact him I can not meet him. As long as you are able to send your story to Gulfnews you can contact that person. Nowadays Internet is the easy media to contact any person. Any way I would say best of luck someday you will meet him soon.
Mohammed Haneef, Sharjah, India
It is with deep sorrow that I write this comment. I really pray to Allah it helps. I and my wife were in this situation for 6 years before my wife's parents accepted. I met my wife in London, my wife's dad never wanted us to be together without a valid reason as he did not want to meet me, we decided to wed without the parents concent and had the nikah certificate then we decided to bring family together so I let my wife to go to her parents house while I was working in my home country athough they did not know we had done the nikah. I came from Southern Africa country and she is an arab of african origin. It is a very long story indeed that can be turned to a book, to make long story short. Last year my runaway from her parent's home and my wife's dad reported her to the police and she became a wanted girl so my wife informed me that our attempt to unite the family did not work as they wanted to keep her captive so I went to UAE with the nikah certificate and took my wife to the police station they confirmed that she was a wanted her but since I introduced myself as her husband the case had to go to court in UAE when in court the judge asked my wife if she loves me? she said yes, the judge told her that he should not stop us fom being together that he should fear Allah so the dad was forced to accept and he accepted us to be together we did the official nikah last year in court with the parents presence. Because pf the all stress she was under when the dad refused us to be together all this years my wife got into deep depression at the point where she tried to kill herself many times, she does not wear muslim dress no more, she does not pray anymore and now she smokes cigarrete. Despite this changes I still love my wife I took her to a clinic where she is getting help she goes to the clinic twice a month for consultation. Thanks to Allah she is getting better. I go to my wife's parents house everytime that I am in UAE as I work in africa our relation with them is better and it getting better everyday. We are now working together to help my wife as she needs our support. My advise to those parents that want to change the will of Allah by stopping their daughters from marrying the person they love, is to fear Allah and stop doing that because it is destroying their daugthers/sons life. Your daughters/sons can only be happy with the person they love not the one you force them to marry as you may know marriage is a marrathon not a sprint.
Dan, Luanda, Angola
my dear , there is nothing like love in this world... what u feel now is love, after some time it will be a burden for you until n unless there is any binding force between u both. i have been in a relationship for 3 and half years n believe me its sick now..i only want to ful fil my commitment and nothing else.. anyways, it depends from pair to pair but its too sorry....
ahmed, sharjah, United Arab Emirates
Dear ZA, saddened to hear your story. First and foremost you have got to have faith in God. If you don't have that, then there's not much anything or anyone can do. Let your parents know that it will be either the person you love or you choose to remain single. Be very firm on your decision. You have to earn their trust back and show that you are not affected by all the pressure they are putting you into. After all it is your life and you are an adult and no one can force you to do the things that you don't like. Make sure that your brainless cousin knows that his fantasy isn't going to come true and that you belong to someone else. Tell him that you don't love him and you never will. That is not how marriage works. But if your lover is giving into the pressure of his parents and ready to marry some one else, then I am not sure he loved you enough in the first place. You don't give up on true love. Keep an open mind, and I am sure there's someone else out there who will love and respect you for what you are. BUT SUICIDE IS NEVER AN ANSWER! If you do, you loose and they all win.
C.C., Dubai, United Arab Emirates
I think Dr has spoken very well - please listen to her, and make sure your parents are hearing what you say and how you feel. There might be another way to make them listen finally if they know how bad this is. I dont think they should be forcing you to marry. Your man should try with them again also. If he is truly good for you, maybe they will see that. But never end your life for something like this. All will be fine for you inshAllah.
Anonymous, Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Z.A should think that the guy who she loves is reluctant to forward a single step against their parents ...and She alone want to step against her parents. If she doesn't like his cousin no one can force her to marry with him this is against Islam. It is not permitted to marry with cousin from father's blood so she can take advise from muslim scholar if she is muslim. She should keep patience and keep faith in Allah, Definetly Allah will provide her the best for her life.
Mushtaq Khan, AbuDhabi, India
This blog post has been removed on the request of the reader. We do not want to cause further distress to the reader.
Write with your concerns to email@example.com and selected questions will be answered by a panel of qualified psychiatrists and psychologists. Your contributions will be modified for length and appropriateness, and will be open to other Gulf News readers to comment and suggest solutions. Let us know if you would like GulfNews.com to withhold your name from your letter should it be published.
Disclaimer: This blog is a conversation and is not an alternative for treatment. The recommendations and suggestions offered by our panel of psychiatrists are their own and Gulf News will not take any responsibility for the advice they provide.