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How can I control my anger?

  • Posted by Moderator: Biju Mathew, News Editor
  • Published 9:48 March 21, 2012

Mr Allen asks: I am always being told by everyone in my life that I have anger management problems.

I think that there is some truth to it because I lose my cool very quickly and become aggressive, but I feel people provoke me. Any suggestions on how I can control my anger?

Dr Saliha Afridi replies: Allen, it is important to know that anger is not a bad emotion — it is what we choose to do with our anger that can be constructive or destructive.

Anger is known as the ‘umbrella emotion’ and it can result from different feelings and/or experiences. Often it is more acceptable for a man to be angry about a situation than to be sad about it, and this is something that boys learn early (i.e. boys don’t cry; toughen up).

It would be worth your while to take the advice of your friends and find healthy ways of communicating your anger since there are many negative health consequences of anger such as heart disease, hypertension, pain, metabolic diseases, stroke etc as well as emotional and relation difficulties that arise due to ill-expressed anger.

My recommendation would be to work with a qualified professional or do some introspection about the roots of your anger, and then be proactive about learning new coping skills and new communication skills that replace angry outbursts.

Write with your concerns to inmind@gulfnews.com and selected questions will be answered by a panel of qualified psychiatrists and psychologists. Your contributions will be modified for length and appropriateness, and will be open to other Gulf News readers to comment and suggest solutions. Let us know if you would like GulfNews.com to withhold your name from your letter should it be published.

Disclaimer: This blog is a conversation and is not an alternative for treatment. The recommendations and suggestions offered by our panel of psychiatrists are their own and Gulf News will not take any responsibility for the advice they provide.

Comments (2)

Share your views and experiences
  1. Added 21:29 March 26, 2012

    I heard a few days back from a well known U.S. Psychiatrist in his T.V. show while he was talking with a person with the problem of uncontrolled anger. Our frustrations-anxiety and worry-high and unfulfilled expections of life are the basic foundations of generating anger in our life. I know a person who is always angry while driving in the free way. If a vehicle is behind her very close-if a person pulled in front of her without giving a turn signal and if somebody is slowing down in front of her, she got very mad. She constantly repeat "it makes me mad" even while at home. Those people making such regular and natural statements are deeply frustrated in life through some hidden cause or past bitter experiences of life, and even the least serious matter will trigger anger in life, but many of them will be sincerely apologetic right after getting mad. If we question them, why they are getting mad, they have a tendency to get mad again because they feel like we have interfered in their personal right and liberty of getting mad.

    A. Sam Mathew, Ringgold, United States

  2. Added 19:39 March 22, 2012

    From my own personal experience while watching many people who are plagued with the anger problem, their pride of life based on their wealth-education-social status ... indirectly play certain leverage in this tricky problem. But while watching the people in the U.S., those people who are in higher level of education-wealth and social status are far less affected with the anger problem. I am totally confused by this contrast in the same problem.

    A. Sam Mathew, Ringgold, United States

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