Reading the newspapers or surfing the internet for lifestyle articles can be intimidating. Because sometimes there is so much ‘latest research’ on topics we take for granted and things we do on an everyday basis that they take on a different hue and are given a deeper meaning — and all the spontaneity goes out of them.
Apparently, the clothes we wear, the colours we choose, whether we prefer flats to high heels: all these say something about us — and not about our girth, our comfort levels, our mood for the moment, our height or the height of our partner. Similarly, I guess, the pet we own, the car we drive, the books we read: Each one tells a tale, we are the central characters, and each tale is now open for others to interpret — especially if they are reading the same articles that we are! Thus I learnt that the gifts we choose and give to others say something about us.
I cannot recall a time when I worried about what my gift to someone I cared about said about me. I was much busier figuring out what gift they would like, depending on what I knew about them.
Definitely, my elegant friend who probably gave the word ‘understated’ its definition, wouldn’t care for a rainbow stole or a blouse of many colours (as I would). My slinky friend who had stayed the same size since I had met her some three decades ago would not appreciate my type of chunky jewellery around her slim and delicate neck or wrists. So I could not give them something that reflected my taste in clothes or jewellery, but I would go out of my way to find something they would like — perhaps a neat little beige handbag or a pretty pearl pendant.
What about that well-to-do friend who has travelled the world and has everything anyone could want? How do I choose something for her? It would have to be something quirky, something that is one of its kind, and also something that fits into my not-so-large budget.
As for my bookworm friend whose reading list I cannot keep track of, wouldn’t a gift coupon be the practical way to go — so that she can make her own choices in her own time?
And then there is the foodie friend who would most likely be the happiest with a box of chocolates or those cookies-to-die-for that I had tasted at a bakery a couple of months ago; and the friend who enjoys spending time in the kitchen who would love the slicers and dicers or marzipan moulds or individual quiche dishes that appear in the market from time to time ...
Over the years, it has been pretty easy to think of what to get for each person. What’s more, the closer I get to them and the more I learn of their tastes, the easier it is.
Most often, I don’t need to wait for an occasion to arrive before I go out in search of a present. Instead, when something catches my eye, I head straight for it, and if the price is right for my purse, it is acquired and handed over to them right away — even if no occasion is in the offing.
It is simpler, easier, and I don’t worry that it says I am impatient/eager to get the gifting process over and done with / too careless to store the present safely ...
What I do worry about is whether it conveys my feelings on a continuing basis to my friend without words. Because what I want to say is: “You matter to me. I think about you when I’m not with you — and I hope you enjoy this as I would ...”
Cheryl Rao is a journalist based in India.