Life & Style | Travel
Funktry times
A Londoner in Bath discovers a new holiday genre, the funky country ethos.
- By Simon Davis, Evening Standard
- Published: 23:39 May 16, 2008
The enormous improvement in English country-house hotels in recent years is well documented and welcomed.
As guests, we no longer have to put up with damp bedding, trinkets and fried eggs the consistency of flip-flops.
Tonight, for example, I'm staying in a recently opened hotel called Cotswold88.
It's a manor house near Stroud aimed at London weekenders that, from the website, appears to have taken the funky country — let's call it “funktry'' — ethos to new heights.
However, if there is one drawback to “funktry'' hotels, it's this: No matter how much design-obsessed Londoners may relish the slick interiors, groovy spas, sophisticated food and quirky sense of humour these places trumpet, it's lost on children.
Spare kids a thought
Put simply, once you have ankle-biters in tow, you need more than a black slate swimming pool and cheeky sofas to keep them amused. With another half-term beckoning, thoughts turn to such matters.
If you don't fancy Centre Parcs, (although there are those who swear by it) and you want to at least try and inspire them, it's better to plump for a good hotel in a town with lots to see.
With two children under five, I've done research into this and, as a result, I took them to Bath.
It seemed to satisfy a lot of important criteria. It's only 90 minutes on the train, it's easy to walk around, it's not too manic, it's extraordinarily beautiful, it has an engaging Roman history — the story of which has been spruced up in new exhibitions — there are decent, affordable restaurants and very comfortable hotels.
The best of these is probably the MacDonald Bath Spa Hotel, a ten-minute walk from the city centre. It has undergone a £10 million (Dh71.9 million) refurbishment.
It's a suitably honey-stoned Georgian property that, at first, might seem too formal for a family but the staff, under the ebullient Giorgio Borgonovo, is neither stuffy nor pompous.
Borgonovo, formerly at Grosvenor House in London and Sandy Lane in Barbados, also runs a sister property, the Compleat Angler, in Marlow, Bucks.
Many “funktry'' hotels suffer from not having very experienced hoteliers running them. They are all gong and no dinner. We stayed in one of the new imperial suites that are cosier and more affordable than the name implies.
The style is sophisticated, with muted browns and greens.
The spa is of a very good quality and full of families.
This is more a case of fun for all in warm pools than smelly candles and Zen, although if you want a massage it's on offer.
One of the great things about going on trips or holidays with children is that you don't have to worry about being hip or tasteful.
You can, in essence, be a tourist. It's such a relief. And so we went to a Skyline bus stop for my first journey on an open-top tour bus.
It was a revelation. We loved it as much as the children did. Did you know why a mews is called a mews? Because when they were used for stabling, rats were commonplace.
Cats were put down and they made an awful racket so the name mews was born. Or so said the man with the microphone.
(I always thought it was because, before stabling, the buildings were used to cage the King's hawks. The birds molt, the French for molt is mue and, well, the rest is obvious). Still, who cares?
Awesome architecture
We went past the recently opened Thermae Spa — the open-air rooftop pool is majestic — and swung by the front of the Jane Austen Centre.
Then it was a turn around the celebrated Circus, where even those who couldn't give a fig for Georgian architecture cannot fail to be awed.
“Nicolas Cage just bought that house for £8 million (Dh57.6 million),'' the man said. He added that Leonardo DiCaprio had instructed someone to find him one, too.
Then we swung around the celebrated Royal Crescent, the Botanical Gardens, Royal Victoria Park (which, by the way, has one of the country's best playgrounds) and then back to Milsom Street where, if you want to do any shopping, you are well placed.
We didn't and headed off to the abbey. This might sound like a rather dour option for children — but far from it.
There's a Bath Abbey Quiz for them to do. It's a sort of treasure hunt for facts around the inside of, what must seem to small people, a magical, enormous castle.
They ran around counting gargoyles, spotting flags and naming animals. Next-door are the Roman baths. The queues can be a bore but it's worth the wait.
A bite of fun
I have not been to the baths since living in the city as a young boy, when you could still swim in some of them. This is no longer possible but the exhibition is simple to navigate and informative.
The author Bill Bryson has just recorded a new audio tour that is worth listening to.
The whole Roman baths shebang is slightly too long for children aged under 5, so don't feel guilty if you scurry towards the end.
We did just that and headed for lunch at the Firehouse Rotisserie on John Street, as recommended by the hotel. It's a bit like Pizza Express but not a chain and perfect for children with food that is at once fun and healthy.
On our way out, we stumbled upon a real gem called Mr B's Emporium of Reading Delights.
It has thousands of books with hand-written recommendations and one of the most varied children's book selections I have seen anywhere.
A pot of coffee was on the go; a wonderful old dog lolled around the wooden floors. We spent ages in there.
In the evening, we left the children with babysitters at the hotel and went for dinner at the Beaujolais Bistro.
Dreadful name but a wonderful spot owned by the gregarious Jean-Pierre Auge. It was perfect.
That's the problem these days. In trying to smarten up the holiday — sorry, “travel'' — experience and make it all so terribly tasteful, I fear we may have lost some of the essential fun.
Self-conscious joints
Too many hotels have become too self-conscious, food is served with too much frippery and we spend too much time doing what glossy magazines tell us we should be doing instead of actually just enjoying ourselves.
For 2008, I have made a resolution to be a tourist in my own country — it's budget ecotourism — and that includes London.
It's a promise to explore those parts of the city that I ignore because they are the wallpaper of my life.
Go there ... From Dubai ... Bath
London is the closest airport to Bath.
Air France flies daily via Paris.
Fare from Dh3,400
British Airways flies daily.
Fare from Dh3.300
Oman Air flies six days a week via Muscat.
Fare from Dh2,700
Emirates flies daily.
Fare from Dh2,610
Royal Brunei flies daily.
Fare from Dh2,340
Qatar Airways flies daily via Doha.
Fare from Dh2,160
— Information courtesy: The Holiday Lounge by Dnata. Ph: 04-3166160
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