Life & Style | Travel
Are we there yet?
Questions like these can make holidaying with children demanding, yet Lonely Planet travel writer Korina Miller often takes her daughter on travels. In a two-part feature, Carolina D'Souza finds out how to do it right.
- By Carolina D'Souza, Lifestyle Features Coordinator
- Published: 18:00 November 5, 2009
- Image Credit: Supplied
The sanest advice for parents deciding to go on a holiday with children is: don't go. Seriously. Jettison the very notion of it.
Travelling with children isn't glamorous. Or easy. It is demanding, stressful and worrisome. It involves hard work, causes anxiety and tests your patience when it comes to ensuring your children are safe, entertained and happy.
It is a journey where you are forced to decelerate your pace, inure children's proclivity to do a hundred random activities before reaching the destination and put up with their wailing, importunate requests, their screaming, disrupted sleep cycles and related behavioural adventures.
With young travellers, your best-laid plans go awry. Yet parents everywhere take their children on holidays. Single parents included. These excoriating caveats don't discourage them. Parents say they are happy to put up with the challenges and gaucheries, as well as the vociferousness.
Why? Because travelling with children has little to do with the holiday destination; it has to do with the family bond, strengthened by time spent together. A holiday gives children beautiful memories and experiences, and for parents, the opportunity to see the world through fresh eyes.
"I laugh more, see more and experience more when I travel with my daughter Simone. We enjoy exploring as a family, and often see a side of cultures that wouldn't be open to us as adults travelling alone," says Korina Miller, a UK-based travel writer.
Miller first travelled with Simone when she was barely three months old. Then, at 11 months they travelled from Canada to the UK.
And since, Simone, now 5, has gone camping in France, to the beach in Sardinia, on lengthy research trips to New Zealand, Denmark and Greece, and to visit family in Spain. She has been on road, boat and bus trips.
"I've travelled with her on my own, with my husband Paul Griffin and with friends," says Miller, who has been writing Lonely Planet guidebooks for the past decade. The wanderlust is almost a family legacy.
Miller's parents too encouraged family holidays, and as a child she travelled across North America on road trips. And by 16, she started travelling on her own and hasn't stopped - with 36 countries ticked off the world map so far.
Simone continues to travel with her mother. Thankfully, Miller says her daughter loves the outdoors as much as she and her husband do. And when they are at home in the UK, the three of them explore the Sussex countryside.
Like Miller, parents around the world enjoy the salubrious pleasure of vacationing with their children. Even if this involves learning to hobble instead of flounce around places, having to opt for a holiday based on extensive research instead of spontaneity, or being on high alert instead of at ease.
Though there can be stressful situations, most families return with happy memories. Miller, for instance, has never had any out-and-out disasters while travelling with Simone.
"When we took her to New Zealand, we were on the road a great deal. She hated being in the car, amounting to six weeks of listening to her scream from the backseat. And she picked up a bug and was ill every three or four days while hopping around the Greek islands for a month. Both situations made the trips stressful, but we managed to find ways to deal with them."
Yes, things go wrong. Children fall sick, get lost and behave badly. However the probability of these shouldn't dissuade parents. In fact, parents will be surprised to learn that children can be far more adaptable than adults.
Miller says parents shouldn't make assumptions about whether their children will like a modern art gallery or presume that they'll never manage to behave in a restaurant that doesn't give out crayons.
"The earlier you introduce children to these situations and the more exposure they get to them, the more they'll enjoy them. Kids are very adaptable."
The assiduous exercise of travelling with children has both rewards and challenges. Parents can only hope that once they have covered the minutiae - from researching the best child-friendly destinations to transportation and safety - children will have a good time.
Different ages
Travelling with children helps them learn, grow and gain a better understanding of the world and of humanity. Arguably, this depends on their age - babies, crawlers, toddlers, older children and teenagers.
For instance, a two-year-old may not imbibe the spirit of a place or have the same scope of understanding that a ten-year-old would. Parents, especially those with toddlers, then question the worth of the travel experience.
Miller says while it is true that a toddler's appreciation is going to be different from that of an older child's, the experience isn't any less worthwhile. She speaks of Simone who has travelled since she was a baby.
"I see the positive impact. I believe it has helped make her adaptable, and more understanding of differences in the way people live and speak. It also helped to develop her curiosity about different cultures. Having travelled since she was tiny, she has no fear of travelling - in fact, she loves it."
Still, age-specific advice should be given heed in context of health and safety. But at the same time, parents shouldn't brush aside opportunities because they think their kids are too young.
Case in point: Miller took Simone to New York when she was two-and-a-half. "I'd shown her pictures of the Statue of Liberty before we went and she was really excited to see it. We rode the Staten Island ferry backand forth past the statue and, three years on, she still remembers this," says Miller.
When researching a child-friendly destination, parents should consider several factors, including pre-trip information like packing and checking the availability of services; travel information like what to watch out for; how to maintain discipline and tips for the return journey.
But perhaps the most daunting is the ongoing task to keep children happy. Miller carries a bag of surprises full of small toys and books when she travels long distances with Simone. "I introduce one every half hour or hour to keep her occupied. I also have snacks at hand. In cars, I kit her out with a tray for her lap so that she can colour.
"We also listen to her CDs and play eye spy. For older kids, mp3 players or iPods often do the trick; magazines and books help too."
To make the trip memorable, her advice is get children involved in the preparation. Miller teaches Simone a few words and phrases in the local language before heading out to a new country. "The more they're involved, the better time they'll have and the more they'll remember," she says.
There are several other ways to do this. Simone suggests taking a look at websites on the destination country together; talking to them about things they'll need to take; buying them child-sized binoculars or a magnifying glass if it's appropriate as well as a camera so they'll be able to capture their own pictures. Or, if they're old enough, let them help with their packing.
With all of this, parents can still go wrong. One of the most common mistakes is trying to do too much, she says.
"A holiday isn't a mission to see and do everything possible. Children get tired and can begin to feel that they're just being dragged from one sight to the next. Choose a few things you really want to do or see and focus on just one each day. Have lots of spare time to hang out on the beach or relax in a park."
Another mistake is overpacking. Or in Simone's words, "Taking along everything but the kitchen sink. Kids often play with things they find in the hotel room or while they're out and about. A few favourite books and small toys from home are indispensable, but don't overpack."
When Miller travels with Simone - whether on a day trip or a month-long vacation - she carries a list of essentials. These include her favourite toy, wipes, crayons and paper, a mini first-aid kit, storybooks and healthy snacks.
Inherent issues
Travelling can be stressful, and more so when travelling with kids. "Especially if your child gets sick, loses a favourite toy or starts fighting with siblings," says Miller.
There are ways to make this easier, she says. "Parents need to be adaptable. The routines you follow at home are often not possible when you're away. It's important to decide which home rules you want to maintain, and which ones you're going to let slide. For example, trying to stick to usual bedtimes or having veggies eaten at every meal will eventually do your head in. Just as adults often relax their own rules when on vacation, kids rules need to relax too," she says.
Parents may also need to make allowances if the behaviour of children isn't perfect. When Simone misbehaves on holiday, Miller and Griffin try to use positive reinforcement rather than take away activities that will leave, as she says, "All of us stuck in the hotel room for the afternoon. So we might tell her that if she behaves herself, she can have an ice-lolly or choose something from a gift shop".
Despite the planning, one of the most overlooked details is whether the destination is child- and parent-friendly in terms of conveniences, activities, restaurants and sights. In Miller's case, one of the biggest obstacles for her is that once Simone is asleep, she and Griffin are confined to the hotel room.
"We therefore try to find self-catering accommodation with a separate bedroom and a balcony so that we can sit up and enjoy the evening," she says.
Luckily, the return journey is often easier. "Kids have lots to talk about and are often very excited to be going home," says Miller. "They usually have new items from the holiday that keep them busy, and often have discovered a new favourite snack that you can pack along."
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