We've all been touched by random acts of kindness. A do-good organisation called YOU (Your Own Understanding) is encouraging schoolchildren in the UAE to do selfless things for others.
"There is this boy in my grade and I often walk past him. I always greet him," writes 15-year-old Meghna Harjani. "I always notice how sad he is. Yesterday, I told him to smile and asked him why is he always so sad. He told me his problems – how he was lonely, and was always being bullied. I tried to make him laugh and give him some advice on how to cope with bullying. I was with him through lunchtime and when we went back to class he smiled and said goodbye looking much happier."
Another note from 12-year-old Sharanya Narayan reads: "My friend was absent from class for a few days. She needed the notes she missed as there was a test this week. I brought my workbook and helped her catch up on the notes. I felt really good helping her."
Ten-year-old Tanya Atwani says: "The other day my friend felt unwell at school. She was feeling dizzy and weak. After school, I held her hand and took her to the bus. We travel on the same bus, so I was able to sit next to her and make her feel more comfortable. She was very happy. She told me that it's nice to have a friend like me."
These random acts of kindness wouldn't generally merit a second thought. But put them together and keep adding to them on a daily basis and what you create is a movement.
This is precisely the philosophy behind
Your Own Understanding (YOU), the voluntary organisation that tapped the potential in the random do-gooders Meghna, Sharanya and Tanya and prompted them to make an effort to perform kind acts to those in need.
Registered under the patronage of the Indian Consulate in Dubai, YOU "is not meant for any particular nationality, although the majority of members are currently from the
sub-continent", says Devika Singh, head
of speaker profiling and media management for the organisation.
"On a simple level, the purpose of YOU is to allow children to register for classes and receive free benefits.
We go by the Pay It Forward plan where members are encouraged to pay for their classes by doing good deeds for others. The children love this idea and needless to say, so do the parents. By opening the clubs (kids, teens, youth and now an ambassador club too) to all nationalities, we further the learning and integration we are hoping to achieve.
"The growth of a child can be inhibited if not nurtured in the correct way from an early age," says Singh, who is a certified psychologist with the Dubai Herbal and Treatment Centre.
"At YOU, we recognise the importance of nurturing and therefore focus our workshops on four key aspects of a child's development: physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
"We aim to mould every child into an adult with a unique identity and give them the ability to realise their purpose in life."
The idea behind YOU was conceptualised by its founder, a lady who wishes to remain anonymous, about a year ago. Having worked with children and been extensively involved in community development, she nurtured the concept for years before finding the right group of people to launch it.
The idea was to get together a group of experts to speak to and educate children. "The reason for starting a voluntary
non-profit organisation was to create a means of transformation. That started with a tiny little group and it has developed into this organisation," says Singh.
"The training YOU offers is extensive: it teaches children
to keep their bodies healthy, stand up to school bullies and peer pressure, dress for success and understand the importance of sleep, among other
off-beat extra-curricular activities. Workshops designed for physical development include nutrition and exercise, which includes yoga."
The day Friday attended a weekend session of the classes at a hotel in Bur Dubai, the topic was nutrition and exercise.
The class consists of around 25 girls between 8 and 16 years of age. Dietician Mitun De Sarkar, who runs a clinic called Simply Healthy, is giving them a class in nutrition. De Sarkar uses the audience's youthful lingo to get the message across: cut down on junk food and live a better life. She's even brought healthy alternatives: wholemeal muffins and other healthy and delicious substitutes for 'junk' food. The girls are initially passive, but respond heartily when De Sarkar speaks about the issue from their point of view.
"If only a handful of them were to adopt healthy habits, it will have been worth it," says De Sarkar.
She, like all the others who conduct workshops for YOU, does not charge for the classes. "It's our way of paying
it forward," says De Sarkar. The Power Bhangra class that follows is conducted by a pint-sized dance instructor, Karishma Babani.
She works up the initially shy group to energy mode in little time, so much so that the few adults who are around feel like participating too. "I would have if so many of my students weren't there!" says one of them, a teacher at a local school.
"The reason our workshops are so popular is because they are not classes in the normal sense," says Singh. "They are interactive. Because they take place during weekends, we don't want the kids to come in and feel they are back
in their classrooms.
Come in, play a game, have some fun and meet some new children they don't necessarily go to school with. It's certainly a new learning experience."
YOU's activities are funded by sponsors and the five team leaders and 36 volunteers work for free.
They meet every Saturday when the workshops are held. In keeping with the spirit of the enterprise, prospective participants register on the YOU website with their details and wait for their turn. Around 25 to 35 participants are included in a workshop. They then have the opportunity to participate in the workshops designed by experts some of whom include image consultant, Rana Saab; Singh; who handles personality management among other aspects; educationist Mary Kobbe, yoga and life coach Suman Suneja; health and beauty coach Rima Soni; health rhythms facilitator Julie-Ann Odell of Dubai Drums and grooming and etiquette expert Rukshana Eisa.
"Our workshops are based on the theory that prevention-based programmes are the most effective," explains Singh. "When researchers went into communities and researched what prevention-based programmes are out there that the children have exposure to, they found that in some situations the majority of them had to do with substance abuse or violence, but a lot of it was just emotional and intelligence education. The idea behind YOU is not to wait for a problem to come up – to deal with potential problems before they arise. Children don't have to have specific problems;
it's prevention-based.
They are taught to critically analyse what's going on with their selves and what happens around them. They will take these lessons with them. It's based on the theory of latent learning where if they learn something now, and if it's learnt in a safe environment where they can role-play and even act out their concerns and responses, they will hold on to the information and use it when required. But we are not usually able to do that as the children feel emotionally overwhelmed when they haven't practised it.
It happens to all of us, like when after an incident you think, 'Gosh, I should have said that', or 'Why didn't I say that?' That's a very normal feeling, which is going to help them come up with solutions. It also gives them confidence when they think 'OK, somebody's talking about bullying, somebody's actually telling me I need to talk about this.
I've always thought it was my fault'. I've had so many children come to me after a class and say that they thought it was their fault, and were too scared to tell the teacher, but now their perception is changing."
The workshops commenced in September last year and were largely attended by children of committee members of YOU and their friends.
By word-of-mouth, the numbers grew. The initial recruitment of volunteers went about in much the same way. "Perhaps because of this, the initial response was primarily from people from India," says Singh. "But the intention is not to limit YOU to any particular community or area. Though the organisation is under the patronage of the Indian Consulate,
since the word has started to spread we have had responses from many different communities."
The general response to the programme, now in its second year, has been overwhelming, says Singh. "Initially, we didn't want to take on more than 25 participants per workshop, but as registrations kept coming in and we began to rethink – we had to increase the numbers as well as the number of sessions. Right now we have classes in only one location, which is provided by our sponsor. But we plan
to have classes at different locations so that the children don't have to travel so much. This will also help us to accommodate the rush of participants."
Pay it forward
The 'Pay It Forward' part of the programme evolved over a period when the YOU speakers, as they call themselves, collected ideas from participants about what they would like to do in terms of good deeds.
"We collected all their responses and went through them. This year when classes started, we said that the classes were no longer free this year – they had to do something in return," says Singh. "They were, of course, expecting monetary fees, but we only handed them the 'good deed form', which says: 'in exchange for this class, I am going to do something good'. We want them to come up with something on their own. This is the pledge they take."
The pupils are asked to e-mail their good deeds to the group's website within seven days of completing the workshop. The deeds are revealed to their classmates to set
an example, while the role models walk away with a certificate and a round of applause.
"We are hoping it works as well for them as it did for us and so far there has not been anything to disillusion us," says Singh. "Research shows that it's not what you acquire that makes you happy, but what you can do for others.
"It's not being too idealistic in the sense that we are not asking them to dedicate their lives to other people, but to simply incorporate good deeds into their lives in some way that brings them some satisfaction. That's the culture we're trying to inculcate. We plant the seed and if five out of 50 do it,
then think of the difference that can be made."
It's not a half-hearted effort either. If any of the children need individual attention or help, the YOU speakers are willing to put in more time and work.
"This was one of those instances where I didn't have to think twice whether I wanted to be a part of it," says Singh. "The concept of community-based education has been an interest
of mine since I was a student.
"The children are so responsive; they have a choice, so this isn't like school. They can go back home and say 'I don't want to go back'. But they do come back, again and again. Everybody is so committed and that's why YOU is proving to be a success."
For registration and more
information: www.you-dubai.com
