What is it with horror movies these days? They rely way too much on blood and guts to generate the scares. That's not the way to do it. Horror master John Carpenter incorporated the use of shadows, handy-cam-like footage and a frightening yet simplistic score to create a genuine sense of foreboding in his 1978 classic, Halloween. But the best trick of all was keeping his malevolent monster, Michael Myers, hidden in the dark before appearing when you least expected him to wreak havoc.
With this in mind, snapper Christopher and I head in search of a derelict and dark location to help bring out the best, or should that be the worst, in the brute of a car I've got my hands on — the Porsche Cayman R.
We find a dark and empty car park and the Cayman R immediately slinks into sinister mode. It looks like a killer on the loose, just waiting to pounce on a poor, unsuspecting victim. Me. But, I've done my research on this car and know what to expect. Well, I think I do — you never can second-guess a psycho.
Is this Cayman R going to chew me up and then spit me out? I'm about to find out.
What's new?
Porsche has been up to its old tricks again. By shaving 55kg off the Cayman S and adding 10 more horses, it's just about created a whole new car here. But is it worthy of that R badge? And why tinker with what was already a properly decent car in the first place, just for the sake of a few more horses?
To understand the reason why the Cayman R has been commissioned, you first need to forget all about the numbers and details because they tend to blur the real picture. And that is, this car feels absolutely right.
It's lost the lard by using aluminium doors like the 911 Turbo, lightweight sport bucket seats and 19in lighter alloys borrowed from the Boxster Spyder. That's certainly a smart, if not entirely new way to beat the flab. Then, like most silly horror movies being churned out of Hollywood, it takes things a step too far. Make that a giant step. It's done away with normal door handles on the inside because those things weigh a ton, don't they? Instead, you get flimsy door straps which you must pull to get out. It's even ditched the cup holders and it doesn't have door pockets any more. But it retains the floor mats. Sounds more and more like a B-movie script, but what's not bordering on the insane is the decision to fit it with a much smaller fuel tank. It now holds 10 litres less fuel than the Cayman S, reducing the weight even further. In total, these weight-reducing measures mean it tips the scales at just 1,295kg.
Not content with the lighter body, the boffins at Porsche then got their hands dirty by fiddling with the engine and exhaust. They've upped the power by adding a larger diameter manifold and giving the ECU a new direction in life. It's enough to give the3.4-litre direct fuel injected flat-six — the same engine in the S — a brand new personality. It now produces 330bhp at 7,400rpm, redlines at an eardrum-puncturing 7,500rpm and boasts 370Nm of torque at 4,750rpm. It's safe to say this thing is as wild as the Peridot Metallic paint in which it's been covered. It's not for the shy, or faint of heart.
As for the exterior, it gains new front and rear spoilers — the latter fixed in place, unlike the electric version on the regular Cayman — and they give the Cayman R a much more muscular presence. More importantly, these reduce aerodynamic lift by 15 per cent on the front axle and 40 per cent on the rear. The suspension has been tweaked — it's now lower by 20mm and has firmer springs and an increase in negative camber. And, it gets a limited slip differential as standard while the ‘Porsche' stickers on the sides hark back to the days of the first R, the 911 R of 1967.
Balancing act
All these tweaks combine to make the Cayman R one heck of a scary car. This means it's brilliant. But is it better than the 911, the ‘real' Porsche according to traditionalists? That rear-engined classic inspired most things Porsche has designed, including the Cayman, which was billed as the smaller, more affordable coupé. But now it can be argued that it is as much fun as its bigger brother. And one of the main reasons for that is simple: balance. Its mid-engined layout makes it much more engaging to drive and you can push it harder knowing it won't slap you in the face like the 911 would when things get hairy. This car inspires confidence like few other sportscars out there and you never get the feeling that you're losing control of it.
The shifting points in the double-clutch transmission (PDK) have been adjusted to swap much later, meaning you can make full use of the engine speed range. Mash the right pedal and it grabs you by the throat and thrusts you from 0-100kph in 4.7 seconds. It'll hit a top speed of 280kph, and sips just 9.7-litres per 100km. The PDK is so smooth you hardly notice it changing but the real fun begins when you put it in manual and hit the Sport Plus button. That's when you really begin to feel the power of this Cayman R, which also has the Sports Chrono Package bringing even more fun to the party. The exhaust note becomes deeper and the gear changes more aggressive. You've got to hold on tight to the three-spoke steering wheel, which comes with metal paddle shifts.
Since it's lower to the ground and features stiffer springs, it isn't a surprise that the ride is firmer than in the Cayman S. In fact, on bumpy roads it'll shake your hair off. But perhaps I felt this more since I'd been wafting along in pure comfort in our long-termimg Infiniti M56 S before jumping into this green goblin.
Add the fact that you can't adjust the seat (they just slide forward and backwards), which hugs you like there's no tomorrow, and it dawns on you that this car has been designed to be driven hard and to frighten the pants off you on the track, and certainly not in any way whatsoever for relaxed, long or romantic rides.
But it's through the roof in terms of driving enjoyment. The steering, a rack-and-pinion set-up, is crisp and extremely responsive with exceptional feedback from the front wheels and it reacts faithfully to where you point it. You never feel disconnected from the road and know just what the Cayman R is doing at all time.
It corners with unbelievable grip and remains perfectly planted without even a hint of body roll. And when you need to stop in a hurry, the perforated and internally ventilated brake discs grind you to a halt.
Verdict
The best thing about the R, though, is not the paint or the PDK or the extra horses. It's the fact that you don't have to be a magnificent driver to get the most out of it. It's effortless fun being behind the wheel. And its sports exhaust combines with the soundtrack of the boxer six to produce a rock anthem that'll lodge itself in your brain. It's a brilliant duet and it certainly hits the right note when you bury the throttle.
The Cayman R isn't just a stripped-out track day car. If it was, why fit the interior with lovely Alcantara and add a strip across the dash painted the same shade as the body? The details make the difference. What it lacks in comfort it makes up for in class. So what if you can't adjust the seat or you can't put your drink anywhere? And who needs turbochargers or unnecessary gizmos?
The most important aspect in creating a properly good sportscar is much like creating a scary horror film; keep it simple. And Porsche has certainly remembered to do that.
Specs & ratings
- Model Cayman R
- Engine 3.4-litre Six-cylinder
- Transmission Seven-speed PDK, RWD
- Max power 330bhp @ 7,400rpm
- Max torque 370Nm @ 4,750rpm
- Top speed 280kph
- 0-100kph 4.7sec
- Price Dh233,700 (base)