When bad means good

How are you?

Not bad

He offhandedly asked me, "How are you?" and I replied, "Not bad". Nidal is constantly studying to improve his English and has a questioning mind, so he quizzically asked me, "Why do the English say ‘not bad', when really they want to say ‘good'?" This got me thinking, and I have some theories to lay before you.

One reason could just be the habits that you pick up from those around you in your formative years. I have noticed that human interaction over the simple ‘hello' is almost an automatic routine that we all slip into. It's sad to admit it, but I do detect very little real engagement in those ‘good morning' moments… we just say the usual phrases so the exchange is completed politely and efficiently with minimum exposure of any real sentiment.

Another personal sub-text (from my English perspective) is that I am just not used to exclaiming anything that may appear over-confident. I am very aware in my dealings with Americans, for example, that they generally opt for a hyper-positive response, and to my sensibilities it always translates as misplaced exuberance and it just doesn't seem real or appropriate.

Do you know what I mean? It's such a small thing that costs us absolutely nothing, but I feel too modest or self-conscious to ever exclaim ‘great!', even if that's how I may be feeling at the time. And when I took the time to question this, I started to think that maybe a more positive approach could set off a chain reaction of positivity that could just energise all of us.

When I started to think about this everyday occurrence, I reviewed some of the standard responses from others who surround me, just to be sure that I wasn't alone in this mindtrap. I realised that my ‘not bad' is outstandingly optimistic compared to others. My dad always replies, "Still here!" when asked how he is. Even putting his frustrating and long-term health issues aside, that's an amazingly downbeat reply that is quite unsettling to those enquiring.

I can understand that an honest ‘terrible' is probably too much of a conversation killer as an opener, but ‘still here' is definitely too much of a dark cloud. Maybe it's a man thing, but I have heard similar variations from others who really aren't in that bad a position.

I hear ‘surviving' and ‘still breathing' on a regular basis from colleagues at work, which I initially take as just a deflection of the question mixed with an ironic sense of humour. But really, when we have the chance to opt for positive or negative, wouldn't a simple sunny outlook just help to spread a little love and light?

I must say that if I take stock of my life at the moment, things are going really well. I am very happy with where I find myself with love, career, friendships and my place in the universe, so maybe it's time to express that happiness when asked.

My ‘not bad' really should be a ‘good', so I am contemplating changing the habit of a lifetime and being more genuinely expressive and engaging.

Think about this for yourselves and observe what happens around you, and let's see if we can power-up our personal exchanges and inject some much needed enthusiasm and good vibes into our days and, who knows, we could start something that might change the world!