InFocus | Back to School
Getting off to a good start
How to support your child as they return to the classroom after the long summer break
- By Sanaya Pavri, Feature Writer
- Published: 00:00 September 7, 2010
- Image Credit: Supplied
- It's a good idea to get back into a routine so your child is prepared for the return to school
As adults we often reminisce about the idyllic days of childhood.
Those days where we didn't have a care in the world; a time when responsibilities hadn't begun to take up permanent residence on our shoulders.
While in hindsight school days do seem to be synonymous with a carefree time of our life, take off the rose-tinted glasses and you'll remember how hard those days could be. Recall the stress of coping with studies, making new friends, battling peer pressure, dealing with the resident bully.
Perhaps the worst memory is of that knot in your tummy at the thought of going back to school after a long, enchanted summer. But the end of the holidays doesn't have to be a dreaded event and there are ways to help your child beat the back-to-school blues.
"The first day at school can be stressful for most children," says Devika Singh, psychologist, Dubai Herbal and Treatment Centre. "But often, children are anxious about certain things at school, not necessarily everything associated with the school."
In order to help them deal with their anxiety it is important to first understand the cause and encourage your child to talk about what is bothering him or her.
"If your child resists talking, it may help by talking to them in the third person. It's a bit like a story-telling technique where you can uncover what they are feeling one layer at a time," advises Singh. "As cathartic as it can be to just air these fears it is important to address your child's concerns by focusing on a resolution, or ‘what can you do?' questions.
"Role playing the situation is often a useful way to prepare your child for things they might be afraid of. This could include asking their teacher for help if they don't understand something or asking someone to help them do something or — most important — joining in conversations and games if they feel left out."
Another technique Singh advocates is drawing — this can help children express themselves especially when they can't verbalise their thoughts and feelings. "I encourage parents to draw with the children so they can talk about what they see together. This can lead to more resolution-focused conversations where children feel empowered by knowing their feelings are normal and there are options for them to choose from to help themselves in the different situations."
Homework for parents
Parents often wonder what they can do to ease their child's anxiety, little realising that they are themselves a contributory factor. "Most of the pressure placed on children comes from parents," says Singh, "Parents must explore what their expectations are and where they come from. Some parents expect their children to follow in their footsteps so if they liked and excelled at mathematics or drama they hope and expect that their children will follow.
"On the other hand some parents expect their children to make up for their own deficiencies. If they did poorly at music or physical education they want their children to be able to do well in these areas."
Having expectations for your child is natural, but the trick is to find something that your child enjoys and feels enthusiastic enough about to continue pursuing it. Interests can be nurtured, not forced.
Apart from the psychological side, another important aspect in preparing for the new school year is getting back into a routine. Kiran Vasandani, primary school teacher at Dubai Gem, says, "The first term is the toughest for students. Many come late to class as they have overslept or if they make it on time they are inattentive and distracted as they are sleep-deprived.
"Also when it comes to their studies, we teachers spend most of the first term just revising concepts as the children have forgotten everything over the summer. I urge parents to revise a little schoolwork with their children every once in awhile through the holidays. And most importantly establish a routine a little before school is about to open."
According to Dr. Rajeshree Singhania, pediatric specialist and child psychologist, routine is important. "Summer breaks often are not very structured. Start getting back into a routine so children are more prepared for the school year schedule. Sleeping, eating, brushing teeth, bathing, and bedtime rituals are examples of activities typically scheduled at set times in a child's routine. Work on a consistent schedule to help [the] transition back to school."
Make a fun countdown
Another good way of getting the child enthused about returning to school is involving him or her in the process. "Mark important events leading up to the start of school on the calendar. Examples of activities to put on the calendar are the first day of school, shopping for school clothes, and buying school materials," suggests Dr. Singhania.
"Discuss how many days are left until each event and have children participate in planning by helping write shopping lists and deciding where to shop. You can also make a fun countdown calendar with the child," says Dr. Singhania.
Shadow teaching
According to Devika Singh, psychologist, a shadow teacher is someone who assists a child with special needs in the classroom. These needs can vary from mild to severe autism, attention deficit disorder, non-verbal learning difficulties to behavioural concerns or academic learning differences.
Their job is to literally remain in the shadow of the child and not do the work for him/her but guide the child to keep up with the class and meet the academic, social and behavioural expectations of the institution. It is advisable to hire a shadow teacher when a student's functioning in the classroom setting is impaired and is affecting their ability to learn and/or disrupts the rest of the class in any way.
Overcome bullying
"Dealing with bullying is a very delicate matter," says Vasandani. "I had a little girl who would not allow other children to get into a group and play and would always try and bully the others into accepting her decision.
"So I made her sit in a chair during break-time activities, ensuring that she could not participate. For a few days she was defiant — but then she realised how it felt to be excluded. I think sometimes teaching by example really works."
According to Vasandani, bullying in higher classes can be even more problematic as children don't talk about it for fear of being called a snitch and even after it's been brought to light, parents have a hard time accepting that their child could be a bully.
Help them overcome the issue
"Kids who have been bullied are very afraid to go back to school. Discuss the concept of bullying. Teach them the difference between a passive or aggressive response versus an assertive response," advises Dr. Singhania.
Also according to Dr. Singhania it's a good idea to teach your children the difference between tattle tales and genuine complaints about bullies. There are children who bully others to conceal their own anxieties or to ‘show off' to make friends.
Teach them the difference between friendly and unfriendly behaviour. Discuss with them the importance of sharing and courtesy. Help them to express their anxieties or angst in a healthy way through talking about it.
But remember — even though planning for the opening of school is important, so is enjoying the last few days of summer and creating some memorable moments for your child to look back on in years to come. n
