I prefer to remain single and both the children from my marriage live with me here in the UAE.
My ex-husband lives in India and has remarried, but frequently visits my neighbourhood in my home town and introduces himself to my neighbours and others as my ex-husband.
Whenever I go to India on holidays I have people who come up to me and say: “I ran into your ex-husband and he told us a lot of things”, a line which would be repeated over and over to which I just smile and ignore.
As I am moving to India for good , how do I handle such a situation.
Kindly note: there has been no contact between him and the kids before and after the divorce and I have never taken any interest to know his whereabouts as well as discuss this issue with my neighbours in India.
Dr Sreekumar V. Nair ( MBBS, M.D. Psychiatry) replies: How you handle yourself in this situation can seriously affect your current mental state, so the knack is to deal with calmly.
Any divorce would take its spell to get over the consequences, so you need to prepare yourself to pass through this phase. Know that, with time, emotions will settle at least a little bit.
Eventually people will also stop talking about it as life has to move on.
The strategy that you have adopted is really good as it conveys a message to them indirectly that you are least bothered about it and hence forth don’t discuss it. To some people you may need to be firm that you are not interested in any such discussion hereafter.
Keep yourself focused on the children and your emotional well-being by adopting a healthy lifestyle.
Once you build up resilience you will be able to withstand the day-to-day afflictions of single life. Just because you don’t go about bad mouthing, it would be unwise to expect the same from others, especially your ex-husband.
It would be better to remove yourself from the scene and allow him to burn out naturally. ‘Let go’ certain things would definitely help us from so many unwanted struggles.
If you are not able to help yourself, seek professional help to cope better.
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Disclaimer: This blog is a conversation and is not an alternative for treatment. The recommendations and suggestions offered by our panel of psychiatrists are their own and Gulf News will not take any responsibility for the advice they provide.