Notes to self: Globetrotting writer Gaby Doman on guests

Whether you live in Dubai, Bangkok, Singapore or wherever, if you’re an expat living somewhere desirable, you’re likely to receive a lot of guests. A lot.

Bangkok is one of those spots that a lot of people travel through, so almost every month I have visitors. This April, I’ve had four visitors already. Most are great; they swing by, you meet up for dinner and maybe they suggest going to the islands. If I can go, I will go. If I can’t, I don’t.

However, some visitors are a little more demanding. You know the ones; they want to have afternoon tea at the Burj Al Arab, go to the top of Burj Khalifa, ride the flumes at Atlantis and all the while have you as their guide. Which would be fine if, a) you hadn’t done all those things 20 times already; b) you had limitless money; and c) you had limitless time.

I also find a lot of people expect you to plan their itinerary for the trip. One particular friend has sent me numerous e-mails about a visit asking me questions about prices of boat trips, where he can buy jeans and what would be a good way to spend a Saturday. Quite often, I think Google has a better idea about these things than I do. While I may live in Bangkok, I don’t spend my weekends looking at temples or going to the weekend market. Like all other residents, I avoid those things like the plague and do things like watch DVDs with my friends, go to the gym and grab lunch instead. You know, like anyone else who lives somewhere.

He’s got it in his head we’ll spend a day exploring the city’s temples. I’m dreading it. I’m dreading being a tourist in my own city; the prices, the heat, the boredom of looking at things I’ve seen a dozen times.

I hate to sound mean spirited but, when people come to visit me, I’d rather they created their own itinerary and maybe, if I’m free, I can join in with parts of it. I’d also rather they booked their own accommodation.

I’ve had a few people stay at my tiny studio flat now and, I’ve come to the conclusion I hate it. I like living on my own. I like sleeping with the curtains open (I’m not an exhibitionist, nobody can see in — I just like the natural light), I like waking up early and starting work, although I know the tappy tappy noise of my typing upsets people. I like being able to come and go as I please, not worry about the fact I am a bit messy and my fridge is badly stocked and I like walking around dressed in slobby gear and I like not making any plans at all.

In fact, I really dislike plans and when people come to stay, it seems as though there’s a whole lot of planning. I’m not a leader by nature; I’m a follower. I don’t see why it should become my headache to create people’s holiday.

For example, often when people come to visit, they want to eat something really specific. They’ll say “Can we eat somewhere authentic Thai — not too expensive, but not street food, either”. It’s a nightmare. I hate feeling responsible for whether or not somebody falls in love with Bangkok/ Dubai/ wherever I am.

Please, if you come and visit me, make your own plans or be happy to meet me for a simple coffee.