A credit card with a smiley face

There is a new credit card in town. It comes free, has unlimited spending power and you pay nothing for using it any time, every time. What's best, the more you use it, the more it makes you and others smile. Shiva Kumar Thekkepat signs up for it.

It's a credit card with a difference. This one has a smiley face on it and a message that reads, 'Smile, you've just been tagged.'

In fact, Devika Singh, psychologist and head of speaker, profiling and media management at YOU-Dubai, calls them 'Smile cards'. "You make sure the recipient is smiling before you tag them with one of those."

The idea behind the cards is that if you do something considerate for someone, you leave with that person a goodness card.

The new owner of the smile or 'goodness' card must in turn keep the momentum going by doing something nice for someone else.

"The whole point is to make a difference, and the goodness cards are a way to do that by encouraging random acts of kindness," says Singh.

Initially the Smile Cards were a spin-off of the workshops for children conducted by YOU, which involved teaching kids the immeasurable value of taking to RAK (Random Acts of Kindness). This is the mainstay of YOU.

The different training methods YOU offers children through its weekly workshops, border on the eclectic. It varies from teaching children how to stand up to school bullies and peer pressure, dress up for success and even sleep well, among other offbeat extra-curricular topics.

Workshops designed for physical development include nutrition and exercise, including yoga. Children are asked to pay for the classes by using their 'Pay it Forward' programme: doing a good deed for anybody, and then listing their act on the YOU website.

The acts of kindness became so popular in fact, that they decided to give out cards to the do-gooders to tag the recipients with their act so they could return the favour.

This caught on so well the smile cards are like the proverbial cakes – except no one is selling these goodies, they are for free, just like an act of kindness is.

"It has become one of the three main aspects of our organisation – along with the workshops and the ambassadors' club for adults and children," says Singh.

The success of this movement has become so unqualified that

YOU keeps getting calls and e-mails from many adults inquiring about the cards. Dianne de Villiers, a curriculum support specialist with Mosaica Education, is patiently waiting for the cards she has ordered.

"I was attracted to this concept, as kindness really needs to be spread around the world," she says. "When I saw the article, I wrote in and thought I could use these cards with friends and people I came into contact with. I have been teaching for 30 years and have much to pass on to younger teachers and children."

On the YOU-Dubai website, Jagdish Kannan wrote: "I am a keen believer in doing acts of kindness whenever a chance arises, and I certainly believe that this programme will spread awareness among people and have a positive impact. Let me make a difference by getting my hands on one of those cards and passing it on from there."

For Badriya Faisal, an Emirati, it is an extension of what she has been taught at home. "As long as I can remember, I have been a total believer of the 'Pay It Forward' concept. During our childhood, my brothers, sisters and I were taught to be good for the sake of being good, whether it was to ourselves or others. As children, our hearts used to ache when we saw a wounded animal and we did all we could to help."

"Unfortunately, today more and more people are sceptical about accepting help from total strangers and that goes hand-in-hand with offering help, thinking that others might think it odd as well."

Charlene Rademan says, "A colleague of mine showed me the smile cards. She had read about them and passed on the information to me so I sent for my own."

She feels this very basic human trait has been suppressed due to so many compulsions and it desperately needs to resurface.

"The focus of people all over the world has shifted so much that we forget to be helpful. We have forgotten that a smile goes a long way. We forget that by helping others, we help ourselves. We have completely forgotten how to be friendly, even if it is just with the individual packing our bags at the grocery store. We have become so wrapped up in our own lives we don't care about the people around us."

YOU's effort appears to have struck a chord with many. More than 3,000 cards have been distributed at the time of going to press. The reasons for the response are varied, but they all flow into the same ocean of kindness.

"I read the [earlier] article in Friday and thought 'Wow! What a great idea. I would like to give out cards that spread happiness'," says Rodney van Eck, technical and market development manager at Sika UAE.

"I had a life-threatening experience and was given a second lease of life after which I came upon a quote I now firmly believe in. In fact, my young daughter now uses it on all her e-mails. It reads: 'I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again' – William Penn (1644-1718).

Imagine what a great place the world would be if we all put into practice the meaning of these words."

The reason why the card appeals to adults also is because there is a child in us, waiting to be allowed free rein, says Faisal.

"If more of us smile at each other, without fearing what the receiver might think, there will hopefully be more people willing to brighten other people's days, for absolutely nothing in return. Just like Pay It Forward, we must do good for the sake of good. And how can you resist when you have a Smile Card to add to that?"

Surprisingly, most of the requests for the smile cards come from people who don't have children enrolled in YOU. What is the reason for its popularity among adults?

"The fact that someone was focused on doing something to recognise the people who actually stop to care," says Van Eck. "I believe that adults should encourage the next generation to find every opportunity to show kindness and sympathy towards the less fortunate."

According to Singh, the Smile Card scheme fills a basic need in human beings. "It's a public health initiative," says Singh.

"There's so much research out there which reiterates the connection between happiness and health. At a physiological level, if you do a good deed or when you are a recipient of an act of kindness, there are increased levels of serotonin – the chemical which leads to a general sense of wellbeing. A lot of that comes from being connected to a social network, which in a sense is what YOU is."

The horse-and-carriage coupling of kindness and the feel-good factor has its share of hecklers. Singh says, "Of course, there is some criticism, especially of researchers like

Dr Martin Selegman, a happiness and positive psychology expert, on what happiness really is. But most of it has been positive and people are asking how can we do more to feel good. So, the goal is to make it easier. Choose a random act of kindness. It makes you feel good, so you pass it on."

For Rademan, the desire to do something good for others is rooted in childhood.

"I am one of those fortunate people who have amazing parents who taught me to have respect for others. Regardless of their age, race or occupation. I was taught that a smile costs nothing and that it won't hurt you to be friendly. I love to smile, even at complete strangers."

"I have found that more than once that a single smile will brighten up that stranger's face and they will smile in return. The world itself has enough problems; no wonder we all walk around with frowns. I have learnt that every person you meet is fighting his or her own battle."

"Many times I have observed that when children are playing, and a new kid arrives at the park, it takes them less than five minutes to invite the other kid to play with them. It sometimes doesn't even matter that he doesn't speak the same language."

"They will play all day and leave as friends. They see past the exterior and accept each other with open hearts and minds. Why should we adults be so different? Why should we always judge each other before we even know each other? Why is it so hard to be friendly to a stranger?"

Clearly, she is very passionate about this subject.

According to Singh, the best part of doing a good deed is that it benefits not only the recipient but also the do-er, as well as the person who witnesses it.

"Research shows that when you do a good deed not only do you experience a serotonin rush, so does the recipient. Even people who are indirectly connected, like anyone who witnesses the act, is going to feel the same. This is what is known as the secondary effect."

Van Eck believes that an act of kindness appeals to our innate sense of goodness. "The unbelievable thing is that even though each one of us believes that life keeps dealing us a bad hand, there is always someone less fortunate who could do with some support," he says.

"However, human nature is such that most people are too proud or shy to ask for help, resulting in life just passing us by. We all need to stop, look around and do a good deed, however big or small, at least once a week. Sometimes small acts of kindness usher in big happiness."

For people who hesitate to reach out because it might be seen as a deliberate attempt to find favour, there is comfort to be drawn from the fact that it is largely an unfounded fear.

Singh says, "There have been terms like kindness movement, happiness movement, etc., that have gained currency in recent times, which underline the fact that right now levels of depression all over the world are higher than they've ever been. The number of children on anti-depressants and anxiety medication is the highest today in recorded history. So, perhaps there is a need to focus on this issue now because [an act of kindness] is a natural anti-depressant. Maybe 50 years ago, we wouldn't have needed to focus on it so much. These values are universal and always have been. But there seems to be a need to do this even more now."

In fact, Dr Selegman is pushing the acts of kindness concept in schools in the UK and what they found is lower levels of depression among students in schools implementing this programme.

"Pay It Forward was always something we all knew, but I'm pretty sure a lot of us only realised it's called that when the movie [of the same name] was released," says Faisal.

Although he believes that it's not good to speak of one's good deeds, he says "[people] do what they can and I believe that most of the time, you really don't have to ask anyone to pay it forward. You always remember the time when an absolute stranger went out of his or her way to help you and that memory is enough to make you want to do the same."

Movements like RAK by YOU-Dubai are particularly beneficial to the cynics among us. The fact that altruism is now an organisational force is convincing enough. It definitely helps in lengthening the list of smile card-holders names.

"Hopefully no one would have to hold on to their cards for long so others can benefit from the concept."

The YOU initiative has had a positive effect on many lives, say the recipients. "The first thing I did was forward the details to Megan, my young daughter, who is in her first year of teaching, specialising in Life Skills," says Van Eck.

"She has also started a People to People Chapter [another story I read in Friday magazine] at school, following her participation in a global peace meeting in Cairo some years back. I thought she would be the ideal person to encourage the youth to practice the Pay It Forward idea."

One question that is often asked of Singh is if this movement gains added meaning because we live in a time of material acquisition.

"It's an interesting question," says Singh "because in any country there is a segment of the population that focuses on acquiring wealth instead of the other things we have been talking about. Equally there is a large segment that is interested in the latter."

"The response we have received and the kind of response other such movements around the world are garnering shows that people are not focused only on material acquisition," says Singh.

She adds that it is also important to understand that kindness, as a human quality, is intrinsic. It needs no introduction and is not a new discovery that needs to be flogged.

What needs to be noted about movements like these is that they are simply rebooting a dormant habit into alertness. What YOU is trying to do is to create an awareness of how these acts of kindness can become second nature, as it used to be once with our race.

"We are trying to make it part of our daily life because research shows that this period in history is the most difficult with people experiencing increased depression, anxiety, low self-confidence and loneliness."

Meanwhile participants are full of ideas on how to power this movement. "I would like to see the initiators of this concept notch up the buzz of this campaign by adding motivational quotes or sayings to the cards," says Van Eck. "Messages could be kept very simple, such as 'You Are Not Fully Dressed Until You Wear A Smile' or, 'The Sun Shines Behind Every Dark Cloud', etc."

As Faisal puts it, the biggest influence on her attitude to Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) has been of strangers. "Just witnessing small acts of genuine kindness when they are least expected leaves me feeling hopeful about a better and more peaceful tomorrow."

It gives the term 'It's a strange world' a whole new meaning.

What is YOU?

YOU (Your Own Understanding) is funded by private sponsors and classes are offered free of charge.

Aim: To empower children by providing professional training in the areas of emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual development.

Topics include
Bullying and peer pressure; study skills; goal setting; communication; character education; problem-solving; grooming and body care; healthy diet; virtue development, etc.

Vision statement
An appeal to better ourselves, a call to find the best in us.

Objectives
To inculcate the right values and virtues, and empower with knowledge; enhance personality and overall grooming; increase positive social skills, self-esteem and confidence; improve parenting knowledge, resources and skills; improve healthy behaviour and spiritual involvement.

Measure of success
By the lives we change and the children we help to shape.

For registration and more information: www.you-dubai.com